1. He’s obese.
2. He probably has high cholesterol.
3. Had 1 minor stroke.
4. Gone through 2 heart bypasses.
5. Is possibly diabetic as well.
6. If he ever slips down the chimney and hurts his leg, it would turn gangrene and he would be required to amputate them making his next appearance as the 1 foot Santa Claus.
7. He can only come around once a year (and not during Hari Raya, Chinese New Year, Deepavali, Hari Gawai) cause he’s busy going through dialysis the rest of the year.
8. Is also possibly an alcoholic who has gone in and out of therapy (evident in his beer belly).
9. Suffers from the hardening of liver and has been advised that should he continue to drink, there’ll be no Santa Claus next Christmas.
10. Is most likely a pedophile who has been convicted and put under the sex offender list and the only way he can go about being around kids is to disappear for almost a whole year and appear with heavy moustache and fake persona.
11. Solicits prostitution every year by the name of Santarina who dresses up skimpily and we all know you can never survive the weather dress like that in the North Pole. So he must have on the way to delivering his gifts, stop by Jalan Alor and picked his prostitute.
