Friday, 31 May 2013

31 REASONS WHY I LOVE YOU

 Today, is a very special day for my wife. Today on 31 May, 2013, she turns 31. She has been nothing short of a blessing to me so here’s 31 reasons why I love her (you)…

1.       Because you first loved me…
2.       You have been my place of solace after a stressful day at work.
3.       You have been the voice of reason when I am unreasonable.
4.       You have never contacted the psychiatric ward when I do outrageously stupid things.
5.       When I forget to hang the clothes, you quietly do it while I sleep.
6.       You enjoy beaches as much as I do.
7.       You laugh at my jokes even though they can be lame.
8.       You have a hidden talent of telling jokes seamlessly which never fails to amaze me.
9.       You completed your degree in 2 and a half years.
10.   And you completed your masters in less than 3 years.
11.   You never fail to buy my most needed wants as gifts.
12.   You love kids.
13.   You delivered to us a baby girl.
14.   And then you decided to make it a pair by delivering a boy.
15.   And you seem to be considering doubling that.
16.   You went through 20 hours of labor to deliver our girl with epidural.
17.   And you decided to do better by going through 10 hours of labor WITHOUT epidural.
18.   Your consistent fervor to provide the best for our kids – in terms of healthy food.
19.   The nights where after your work or during the weekends, where you spend that free time not on yourself but by cooking super healthy meals for our kids for the week to come.
20.   Your sacrifices in bearing with breastfeeding our kids and the countless times you’ve cried cause the journey has been tough.
21.   Your sacrifices through interrupted and barely sufficient sleep to take care of the kids at night.
22.   Your strength in going through a wailing child.
23.   How you have for the past 2 years over been fetching our girl to your parents place while you carried your bags, her bags and her down 3 flight of stairs into the car.
24.   How you still continue to hang on through your job no matter how tough it has been to further supplement our salaries.
25.   How you introduced me to coffee and that now, I am a self-proclaimed half-baked coffee connoisseur.
26.   In the available free times you have, you cook up a delicious meal for our dinner.
27.   Your support in all that I do.
28.   Your love for food.
29.   Your warm smile that melts away all the worries of the world.
30.   Your faith in God and the assurance you exhibit.
31.   Your patience when I have been mean.

So today on your birthday, I just want to let you know that you have been an absolute blessing to me and the fruits of our loins (our kids). I am thankful that the fruits of your parents loins bore fruit to such a wonderful woman whom I have the privilege of calling “My Wife”. I cherish every moment that we have gone through and look forward to the coming years together as we both age. I love you!

Wednesday, 8 May 2013

POST GE13: ORANG CINA, APASAL YOU TAKUT?

So, admittedly, we Chinese are a scared lot. We’re afraid of a lot of things ranging from stepping on an ant hill less it’s the home of some gods. We’re afraid of the many things that might go wrong during pre and post pregnancy that we have an endless list of pantang larang. We’re afraid of losing “ong” during Chinese New Year that we have another set of pantang larang. We’re afraid of our sitting position in office which attracts bad luck. We’re afraid that our car plate numbers are not right. We’re afraid of various spirits that we have gods everywhere – kitchen, front door, back door etc. We’re afraid of death and we have a list of superstition to protect us. We’re afraid of hospitals and we have another list of superstition to protect us. WE’RE JUST REALLY AFRAID OF EVERYTHING. Just google for Chinese superstitious and you’ll know.

So although expectedly when our bastardly PM decided to say “Chinese Tsunami” when he announced that BN has once again won, opening the flood gates of low IQ Malaysians to hurl racist remarks at us… we became AFRAID again. To say that I was disappointed at how we reacted is an understatement.

Before the elections, we increased our participation in Bersih, Anti-Lynas, Anti-ISA together with our Malay, Indian dan lain-lain brothers and sisters to fight for a cleaner, less corrupted & a more accountable Malaysia, braving any possible risk of arrest, tear gas, beating and possible death. During the elections, we became human barricade (again with the other Malaysians) to ensure no phantom voters got to vote and no suspicious ballot boxes were brought in. 12 midnight, when we found out that SPR was being hanky panky, we together as 1Malaysia turn our profiles black, planned mini rallies of wearing black shirt and taping our mouths. We together as 1Malaysia demanded for the truth!

Then Najib said, “Chinese Tsunami” and in the morning we realize that we were being made the scapegoat for BN’s poor performance, we became afraid again. Utusan asked us, “Apa Cina mau lagi”, Kosmos accused of being, “Talam dua muka” although the only talam I know is kuih talam which I love very much but I don’t think they meant it in such a way, and we began to realize that on FB, there were a group of Malays hurling very abusive racist remarks asking us to “Balik Cina” and Chua Soi Lek said, “There would not be any Chinese representative in the cabinet”.

Then we reacted, not with the facts that we knew but with fear. We began forwarding messages telling our friends not to wear black and not to forward the said message to any non-Chinese or on FB, we started telling each other “Stay safe”, we receive SMSs asking us to remove our black picture profile less we became victims, we told each other on FB to remove them… stay neutral, there might be riots, they’re trying to create trouble.

I personally got sick pissed when someone forwarded me those messages not only because we so quickly forget what we have achieved but we began abandoning our fight for justice just to ensure our asses (plural for ass) are safe… the same old mentality of selfishness and caring for our own race. On top of that, it only made things worst. Putting people in a flight or fight mode, in which any small rumor/scuffle that might happen will easily escalate into something bigger in no time. It didn’t help. We just became puppets to BN’s fear mongering game.

To my dear Chinese friends, let me ask you… Michelle Yeoh bukan Cina ar? Chua Soi Lek bukan Cina ar? Liow Tiong Lai bukan Cina ar? Koh Tsu Koon bukan Cina ar? If they were going to start anything, you think they’re going to throw petrol bombs into their houses?

Haven’t we gone through these all our lives living in Malaysia? Have we forgotten UMNO’s general assembly and the keris? Ridhuan Tee and his endless condemnation of the Chinese? Ibrahim Ali and Zul Noordin? The never ending threat of May 13? The screening of May 13? The too many times we’ve heard “Cina balik Cina”? Haven’t BN been continuously trying to divide us Malaysians by our race?

Let me also ask you… Who voted out Ibrahim Ali from KELANTAN? Who voted out Zul Noordin in SHAH ALAM? Who were the 52% of voters that voted against BN? Who were the majority that stood beside you in BERSIH? Who voted for PAS? Who voted for a Malay candidate from Pakatan instead of a Chinese candidate from BN?

The fight was never a fight of one race abandoning another. It was a fight of Malaysians of every race fighting against inequality. Against corruption. Against cronyism. Against injustice.

So please, don’t tell me to “Stay safe” when there are more serious things to worry about like snatch thefts, death in custody, witnesses jumping off MACC buildings, blackouts etc. Don’t tell me to stock up food when there might not even be food in 5 years time. Don’t tell me to stay as neutral as possible behind the scenes because I refuse to subject myself and my children’s future to such racist remarks and corruption in future. I will continue to fight openly together with my Malay, Indian dan lain lain brothers and sisters of Malaysia to uphold everything that is right. DO NOT BE COWED. We’re not Sharizat.

To my friends of all races, thank you for standing up when you shared pictures of you and your friends of other races together, posting experiences in full honesty of what 1Malaysia really meant, and standing up to any racist bigot. Sharing and re-sharing those stories you came across. Dousing the fire of racism not with fear but with flowers of true togetherness and harmony of us Malaysians. With these experiences, I know if anything should happen, I have enough Malay friends to come to my assistance as I would to them.

To Chua Soi Lek: I really don’t give a crap if there are no Chinese representatives in the cabinet. What use were they when they couldn’t even protect us when we were subjected to racist remarks in the past? My Malay brothers and sisters in Pakatan seem to be doing a much better job than any Chinese cabinet minister.

We today are moving closer as a truly 1Malaysia. Closing the gaps between races that have been put there by BN for the longest years. It’s not going to happen overnight. There will still be racist bigots out there but this time around, we’ve resoundingly told them that “Malaysia has no place for racist bastards”. So, let’s not lose focus. Let not fear get the better of us and let us push forward together as 1Malaysia to see a better Malaysia. We’re not Chinese, Indian, Malay anymore.

WE ARE MALAYSIANS!


Tuesday, 7 May 2013

GE13: RAYS OF HOPE AMIDST BLACKOUT

Albeit the fact that we had to fend off foreigners, erect human barricade, watch our indelible ink become delible and become victims of BLACKOUT MAGIC, here are some facts that still provides us Malaysian with some hope.

1.          BN might have won seats but they have lost popular votes: Federal Seats: BN-5.2m (48%), PR-5.6m (52%) and State Seats: BN-4.5m (48%), PR-4.9m (52%).
2.          Overall Parliament seats, BN is further weaken by the lost 7 more seats (from 140-133). PR has increased their Parliament seats from 82-89.
3.          Overall State seats, BN further loss another 33 seats to PR.
4.          Parliament seats 2008 vs 2013, PR did better in Terregganu, Pahang, Melaka, Johor, Sabah and Sarawak
5.          State seats2008 vs 2013, PR did better in Terrengganu, Pahang, Selangor, Melaka, Johor and Sabah.
6.          In Selangor State seats, PR further strengthen their grip by winning an additional 8 seats as compared to 2008 (from 36-44)
7.          Top BN big guns slayed – Saifuddin Abdullah (Deputy MInister), Puad (Deputy Minister), Kong Cho Ha (Transport Minister), Chor Chee Hung (MCA VP), Raja Nong Chik (FT Minister), Bernard Dompok (Plantation Minister), Teng (President Gerakan), A. Kohilan (Deputy Minister), SK Devamany (Deputy Minister), VK Liew (Sabah Federal Minister), Joseph Kurup (Sabah Federal Minister) and Yong Koon Seng ( Sarawak Federal Minister),
8.          BN Chief Ministers for Johor and Melaka slayed – Ali Rustam & Ghani.
9.          In Sabah, PR won 11 seats this time around (2008-only won 1 seat).
10.      Terrengganu state seats BN won by a slim majority of 2 seats.
11.      Perak state seats BN won by a slim majority of 3 seats.
12.      MCA suffered near extinction losses by only winning 7 out of 37 Parliament seats it contested in. They won 15 seats in 2008. MCA also won on 11 State seats out of the 90 State seats it contested in. They previously secured 32 in 2008.
13.      MCA suffered a total wipeout in Penang, KL and NS.
14.      Inroads made into Johor, Sabah and Sarawak
15.      Malaysians have united to send a clear message - RACIST BIGOTS DON’T BELONG HERE!
16.      Malaysian have come together to ensure that foreigners messes not with Malaysia.
17.      Nurul Izzah has thus far slain 2 Ministers – 1 Lembu Minister & 1 Longkang Minister… who’s next?

Thursday, 2 May 2013

GE13: IT WOULDN’T MAKE SENSE

 It wouldn’t make sense if you’re a…

1.       CHRISTIAN and you pangkah BN – Under BN, you have been systematically “cleansed” via the difficulty to obtain land to build your church, to easily display any effigy of your faith (i.e. the Cross), banned from using “Allah” (while PAKATAN top echelons have openly said that there’s nothing wrong in Christians using “Allah”), continuously slandered through the years (i.e. the spreading of false rumor such as the baptism of Muslims etc), made a scapegoat to attempt to unite Muslims for political reasons (i.e. the current BN campaign which uses pictures of your places of worship to scare Muslims) and the best part of it all – they tell you we’re a democratic country with every religion is allowed to practice their faith and for all the slander and scapegoating they’ve done – NO ACTION TAKEN.

2.       CHINESE and you pangkah BN – Under BN, you too have been constantly called to “balik CINA”, given white ang pow packets for CNY, threatened with the keris and constantly made to look as though you are some selfish race who have stole all the wealth of Malaysia (when the truth of the matter is that BN themselves have awarded you the contracts cause of corruption). You are afraid that your alcohol, TOTO, pork etc would be banned when PAS becomes powerful enough (a myth that can never happen in Malaysia) but you forget than under BN, corruption has become so rampant that you, your family or your friends will most probably not see justice serve if BN people are involved. In any case, in Shah Alam under BN, pork was made to be sold in the market with any visual sight of the pork wrap around black garbage bag when in Kelantan, it’s been sold openly in their market. If you still are worried, Hasan Ali (previously a PAS member) who tried to circumvent your right by trying to ban alcohol at 7-11’s in Shah Alam was sacked while racist bigots in BN is still made to stand in the upcoming elections.

3.       INDIAN and you pangkah BN – Under BN, you have been called a Keling, your holy books brought to ridicule, your holy river smirked at and your sacred animal (the cow) stepped on in disgust and your temples demolished. You have been marginalized, denied the right of a blue I/C even though you’re a Malaysian in every sense, your people too die in police custody without the sight of justice and your beloved deceased bodies have been snatched off your very eyes while you are grieving without any recourse.

4.       MALAY and you pangkah BN – Under BN, you are made to believe that all BN is doing is to raise the inequality of wealth in Malaysia especially for you but the truth of the matter is that the majority of your people still live in poverty after 56 years. 56 years of the same message being said over and over but the reality has not changed much. What has happen is within your very race, there has been an even bigger gap of inequality of wealth where the BN cronies become super rich while you, me and all other races in Malaysia that falls under the non-cronies category find it harder and harder to live and survive through our everyday needs. What’s worse is that you are made to hate me and I am made to fear you. I remember the days when I played gasing and guli with you with no care as to what race you and I belong to, but today, I have to make the conscious effort to remove my fear and my tainted race glasses because I know, the color of our blood is red – nothing else. You and I today have to undo the fear, the hatred, the feeling of inequality between you and me and the brainwashing that we have undergone by the powers today to separate us to ensure they rule us via our division for a very long time. Today, I look to PAS whenever I have any doubts about our relationship and I am more assured than ever that you and me – we’re in the same boat, we need to work together, we need to put aside all fears and hatred that has been instilled so both you and me reject all calls for division cause only as one that we can truly reflect what Malaysia truly is. If you still fear that Pakatan might erode your livelihood, just take a look at Penang and how that with an open tender system, your people are more than capable to secure contracts – don’t let BN to continue to fool both you and me.

5.       ORANG ASLI and you pangkah BN – Under BN, your lands have been taken from you, your children denied easy access to education and your people marginalized the most with most of your people still living in poverty and your women raped by timber lords and you have no justice to date. To think about it, what has BN really done for you? Your basic right to water and electricity is also so hard to come by. Huge, useless dams are build where your houses use to be not for the betterment of the country cause the electricity generated from the dam now is useless but your houses have been lost, your livelihood gone and your way of life a distant memory. You come from the wealthiest states with rich resources but yet the only people that are probably multi-millionaires/billionaires are your CM.

6.       MALAYSIAN and you pangkah BN – Under BN through the years, as much as BN shouts 1Malaysia, their actions have only reflected the opposite by consistently dividing us Malaysian further. Do you feel more 1Malaysian when listening to BN talk or do you feel more 1Malaysia when you attend a Bersih rally? Especially now with the upcoming GE13 coming around the corner, listening to the BN’s advertisement and speeches, do you really feel 1Malaysia? Apart from unity, think about corruption, injustice, racist bigots, scandals and tell me in my face that this is the BN that you condone.

So… before you vote this Sunday, think really deep… what does voting for BN really means to you, me and Malaysia. Where do we want to be for the next 5 years?


p/s - For the record, I am a Christian by conviction, Chinese by birth and a true believer in unity amongst Malaysian.

Tuesday, 30 April 2013

GE13: MY FINAL PLEA

In a few days more, Malaysians of all races, ages, socio economic status and blood type would cast their votes on 5 May 2013 after being held in limbo by a mandateless PM for the past 5 years. Needless to say, the outcome of the election is one that is highly anticipated with both Pakatan and BN having a lot at stake. Najib and Anwar could either be the next PM for Malaysia or just fade away after 5 May 2013.

My plea here today is this, as much as we might think that we are a democratic country with every person having the right to vote for their party of choice, your choice in which party you vote for goes beyond your democratic right. It’s a decision of morality. A decision between right and wrong. A decision between standing up for the victims of injustice. A decision for a better Malaysia. Here is why:

1.       You are not voting for/against a Republican/Democrat or even the Labor or Conservative political party where both parties are equally at par intellectually and progressively with each other. Your choices are of a moral choice – to continue to endorse corruption and mismanagement of our funds or to vote in a possibly better government which has proven to be more accountable, transparent and less corrupt in the sates they have governed. How many multi-million dollars scandals do they have tied to them to date as compared to BN? But Pakatan seems to have more of their members serving jail time than BN. Ironic.
2.       You are not voting for which party cleans your drain, tars your road really quickly, answers to your DBKL problem, showcases his singing skills or his bedroom skills – you are voting for a party which is able to make a difference to the country, someone who would stand up for what is right regardless of the consequences. Think about this, abolishment of tols, reduction of tol rates, abolishment of ISA, the somewhat better treatment of peaceful assembly and the now possibility of buying cheaper cars... whose fight was and success was it really? If Pakatan together with the social movement of the day have not fought for all of these for years, with the likelihood of unjust imprisonment, police brutality, tear gas, FRU beating, would these successes be even possible? For all these sacrifices don’t you think that giving them just 5 years to showcase what they can do for the country is fair? Which BN candidate has actually been jailed for standing up against a minister who raped a minor?
3.       Individuals – Pakatan has to date showcased some very impressive individuals who have given up their bright or comfortable future just to get their hands dirty with meager pay to see a better Malaysia in the future. You gotta ask yourself why. Why would Rafizi Ramli get paid RM10k+ which includes paying their staff (if he gets elected this time around) when he had such a bright future at Petronas? Why would Nurul Izzah risk going through what her dad had to go through? Why would Tony Pua, with all his successes bother with Malaysian politics when he was already running a successful company listed on the SGX SESDAQ? Why would Hannah Yeoh get herself muddled in DAP when she could have sat  back and enjoyed her life with her 2 kids probably earning a lot more in the corporate world and not having to worry about medical bills? Why?
4.       You cannot separate voting for just policies and turning a blind eye to what really happens in reality. My Jib Gor talks about 1Malaysia, but yet he selects Zulkipli Nordin to stand in Shah Alam when he knew darn well before the racist remarks he’s made against the Indians. And to make things worse, Perkasa’s Ibrahim Ali is nominated for a straight fight in Pasir Mas through a cunning move by the UMNO candidate to step away. You cannot help to but conclude that it was all part of the show to get Ibrahim Ali a straight fight. An absolute bigot who wanted to burn your Bibles with Allah printed on them and the one who threatened us Chinese to stock up on food if we didn’t cancel the Bersih rally (like we were the only ones attending). Apart from all of these, the cow head incident, Ridhuan Tee’s, Utusan articles and the many more racially “inspired” events just to make sure that we are continually divided and continually fear for our safety and the best part in all of these, no or barely any action has been taken against these individuals. If you think that has ended, look at how BN is campaigning – race and religion continuously is used to instill fear that we cannot trust and we shouldn’t respect each other’s believes and way of life. Don’t make excuses that “My MP is not Ibrahim Ali so it’s ok to vote for BN” or “he is only but one”. You are not voting for just the individual but what the party says and acts on what it believes in. If you believe this is how Malaysia should progress then I do not blame you for voting BN.
5.       A vote to BN would also mean you endorse a party which carries so much tainted leaders and scandals involving rings, berkin handbags, cows, submarines, PKFZ, Mongolians, Sukhoi jets, billionaire Sarawakian and President porn star or you are just turning a blind eye. In any proper government, half the leaders today would have to step down – Bill Clinton should have joined Malaysian politics. He would probably still be the man of the hour and not the guy in the backstage. Please remember that there was no incriminating video evidence against him – just a recorded testimony from Lewinsky unlike our dear MCA PRESIDENT. Don’t justify the wrongs that have been committed by saying, “All parties have their scandals as well” because in any righteous party, these people would have been dealt with immediately… but not in Malaysia. What has happened to Lingam, Teoh Beng Hock, Atlantuya… N.O.T.H.I.N.G. It took BN years before they sorta kinda put Khir Toyo in jail and that white lion in Sarawak, he’s still roaming free and has the balls to ignore MACC (our supposedly “independent” all powerful commission). As much as this is just cases of corruption but remember, in all these cases, there are people on the receiving end – the clients against Lingam who never saw justice, the orang asli’s in Sarawak who have lost their lands, the refugees who have to constantly bribe RELA officers to leave them alone  – your decision affects them too.
6.       Some argue, economically, it seems that BN has a better plan to drive the nation. Let me then ask you, would economics outlook today mean anything if corruption and billion dollar scandals is allowed to thrive in Malaysia. How is it that every other year, from the Auditor Generals report that we have ministries procuring items at exorbitant prices? Every year. Every effing year. And this is just probably the tip of the iceberg. Imagine if submarines were part of the A.G.’s report. My dear friends, the money spend… that’s your money. Say something, stand up and make that difference. Pakatan to date proved that they can better manage the states under them than their predecessors. I didn’t say that, the A.G. report did. So which makes more economic sense, continuous mismanagement of our funds or a party that better manages it?
7.       Apart from all of that, it only makes logic sense to vote in a new government which has shown themselves capable in the states they have ruled in for this very simple reason – NEWBIE PASSION. In our organizations, who are the most gung-ho people? The ones that would go all out to make sure they get confirmed in 6 mths? Who wouldn’t be experienced enough to pull a hanky-panky? Who is so darn scared of making mistakes? Who would literally kow-tow to their bosses? NEWBIES. These are the qualities that I am assured of when I vote Pakatan into power. They are all out passionate to show that they can rule. Their heads are not as big. Their ears are spanking clean to listen to what us the people want. They’re dead scared to be caught doing anything wrong and they know who their bosses are.
8.       Finally, this might sound really crude and vulgar but this is my best illustration so please pardon me for the language. Before you vote for a party, please ask yourself – Which political party can you feel their balls closest to the palm of your hand? This is very important, because in order to make Malaysia a better country, you need leaders who are at your mercy and not the other way around. When we as a nation demand a less corrupted administration, our palms must be close enough to tighten our grip so that they move and if they don’t we are able to further tighten our grip till it causes enough pain at the groin for them to do act. I know for sure that there is barely any breathing space between my palms and Pakatans balls cause they have no choice but to listen to the people, but with BN, an aeroplane could probably fly between my hand and their balls. They need to be push so hard before they start making changes. Every year we tell them, uphold justice they do a half back RCI on Lingam which ended up with nuts. We tell them, abolish ISA, they condemn your CANDLE vigils, send FRUs at you, tell you “The hell with abolishing it. We NEED ISA. We cannot abolish ISA” until finally relenting after so many years and they tell you now, “It’s our achievement”. We tell them get rid of corrupted leaders and we get the white tiger from Sarawak telling you 2 years ago he’ll step down and is still running for election this time around and he HAS the balls to tell MACC, “Get lost”.

I am writing this with my 20 days old baby on my lap, ignoring my 2 year old daughter who is yearning for some attention just so that I can finish writing this article before the elections. I am sacrificing my time so that my children would have a better Malaysia to live in. A Malaysia that is truly one, where injustices are dealt with without fear or favor, a Malaysia where our resources are equally distributed regardless of race (and not just to cronies) and a Malaysia where leaders are held accountable and who truly listens to the people (and not just on advertisement on billboards).

P/S - If any of you tell me that, “If PAS comes to power and implement hudud how?”, I’ll bring out the bagful of both my kids dirty diaper, make soup out of it and force feed you. Read more about PAS and Hudud here.

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Thursday, 4 April 2013

MY HEART BROKE

 CRUSHED! BEATEN! SMASHED! GRINDED! SQUEEZED OF ITS EVERY LIFE!

Every Sunday for the past couple of months, we’ve been sending Athalie to Sunday school right after worship. As my wife is heavily pregnant now, I have been the one bringing her to the back, sitting together with her initially and then standing behind while she independently does her work interjecting only occasionally. The main idea of it all was that in the near future, she’ll be able to sit all by herself without me being there and she being ok with it. To slowly achieve this, I have been occasionally disappearing from the back and usually within 5 min, she would come looking for me. The very first time I disappeared, she was absolutely ok and when thru the entire class without me in it at all. We were so happy then at how independent she became so quickly. However, the second time around when I disappeared, she cried. Then after telling her where I would always be, she would just whine and walk to where I was “hiding” and ask me to go back and stand at the back (so she could always see me). So that was the usual routine every Sunday at her Sunday school class.

This fine Sunday however, for some reason, the Sunday school teacher decided that it was high time the parents all disappeared, NEVER to return until the class is over (EVEN IF YOUR KID CRIES). She first suggested it to the parents to leave, however some were still mingling, not willing to depart from their kid. I very nervously decided that it was time for Athalie to be independent and bravely I told the teacher, I’m leaving and if anything, I’ll be outside. Me- the Brave and Mighty Dad. Afterall, I’ve been the biggest proponent of letting kids cry and not giving in. Slowly I creeped out, Athalie didn’t know I disappeared then.

5 minutes after, to my horror, wailings were heard from within the class. The teacher had actually shooed all the parents out and as I stood outside the door, I could see the parents streaming out amidst the cries and wails and there Athalie was, in the teacher’s arm crying her heart out for me… “I want Daddy!!! I want Daddy!!! I want Daddy!!!” The teacher shut the door. My heart stopped.

Disoriented. Guilty. My heart just dropped at the sight of her crying and me not being able to soothe her. While the other parents left, I stood by the door, hoping to get a glimpse of her being ok. But all I heard was more wailing and crying from the room and I was so darn sure I heard  Athalie still crying her heart out for me but yet I couldn’t see her. I could only hear her wails and cries. I tried looking for another way to get a glimpse of her but to no avail.

What have I done!!?!? What if she cries herself crazy??!?!?? What if this leads to more insecurity and she becomes super attached/dependent on us after this?!?!?? What if she hates me after this??!?! WWWWHHHAAATTTT IIIIFFFFFFFF……?!?!?!?!?!

As I stood outside, a friend of mine who had to bring his kid out cause he was underage for the trauma was outside with me as well. Unable to quell my uneasiness and my disorientation, I asked him for a favor – “BC, could you go into the room and see if Athalie is ok”. He said sure. He went in, and as I anxiously waited for him to let me know her status, he told me this, “There’s too many kids crying inside. I couldn’t see Athalie”…. …. …. I was like WTH!!! There’s not a lot of kids in there and all I asked was for you to look for Athalie and see how she was!!!!! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh….!!!! My heart remained as restless and disoriented as it was.

While all the parents had gone back to the main sanctuary to listen to the sermon, I just couldn’t bring myself to sit out there, so far away from Athalie. I wanted to grab her and hug her the moment she stepped out of the class to tell her how sorry I was for leaving her there. So I sat in some place in between the main sanctuary and the Sunday school area.

The teacher emerged from the class carrying a boy who couldn’t stop wailing back to the mother. She saw me sitting at the “in-between” and told me, “Go sit in the sanctuary. Don’t worry about your daughter. She’s ok”. She told me this 3 times and my reply was always, “It’s ok”. I remained sitted where I was. I wasn’t going to budge. I will be the first thing my daughter sees when she’s done. She went back to her class.

I sneaked back to the door just so I could hear if Athalie was still crying. There were still wailing kids inside but I couldn’t make out Athalie’s voice anymore. But hopping and squinting through the door, I couldn’t see Athalie and hence couldn’t be sure of her exact condition.

My wife, suddenly pop in the area and she told me that it was already the sermon’s last slide. I totally forgot I was on bass duty that week and I had to go back to the main sanctuary to play the closing song. I told her what had happened and she was like as cool as a cucumber. No disorientation. No worry. Nothing. I had now become the crazy, clinging, disoriented father who had detachment issue with my daughter. She was the matured mother.

Went back on stage to play the last song. I could hardly focus as all there was in my mind was going back to the back to get my daughter (of course I played a couple of wrong chords). After the last song, I became even more anxious to sprint all the way to the back to see her but had to stay on a couple more of minutes to play what I would call a “disbursing song” where we just played the chorus of the song, while the crowd gets up and exits. Right when it ended, put my bass down and walked as quickly as I could to the back.

There she was, with slightly puffy eyes, and the first word she uttered, “I cried today in Sunday school”. How my heart dropped at the ordeal that she had to go through. Instead of letting her walk by herself (I’ve always asked her walked whenever she wanted to be carried), I told her, “You want Daddy to carry?” and she was non-chalant about my request. Too traumatized or just too distracted with the array of toys she had in her hand, I do not know.

So there it was, me the bravest, the loudest of them all and the biggest proponent of letting children cry to help them to the next level put to the test. In real life situation. ULTIMATE FAIL.

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

PIGGIN OUT @ KAMPACHI, EQUATORIAL BANGI

We once craved to try the much talked about Japanese weekend buffet at Equatorial Hotel. But always got distracted through the years but finally, a couple of months back, we finally manage to find the time to visit Kampachi at Equatorial Bangi (as Equatorial KL is now close for renovation).
 
We were looking forward to dine here after hearing so much about the place and how it’s always fully booked months in advance so I was really surprise when I tried my luck making the reservation 2 days before, I actually got it.
 
When we arrive, was firstly disappointed at how small the dining area was with limited tables (no wonder fully book all the time). Walked around to check out the buffet  spread and sad to say, it wasn’t very appetizing. The spread was sad. 6-7 dishes of pre-cooked food, a small section of cook-on-the-spot which cooked small portions at a very slow speed, a sashimi counter (which did serve fresh sashimi), and a dessert section (with a not too bad spread). The other sad thing about this place was their sukiyaki counter. They had this huge pot of soup boiling with sukiyaki stuff and when you request for a bowl, they just scoped out a little bit of each (which is fine) but it’s just that the ingredients in it is continually being boiled and if you reach here later, it’ll probably be porridge sukiyaki by then.
 
So much for high expectation. The restaurant beside Kampachi looked so much more appetizing.