THE SIMPLEST THINGS IN LIFE

A lot of times, the simplest things in live can put the brightness most radiant smile to your face and fill your heart with a gush of seemingly unending warmth and happiness…

Was just so exceedingly happy when Athalie said “Daddy” and “Bye-Bye” over the phone today morning… Two simple words that just wipes away all your worries n stress and puts you in an euphoric state where nothing else really matters… Now I can’t wait to go back… and it’s only 8+….

IDIOSYNCRACY: IBRAHIM ALI AND THE CHINESE

Idiosyncrasy – the syncing of idiots all in one place (Rojaking, 2011)

There are generally 2 groups of idiots in this picture.

1. IBRAHIM ALI

An independent MP from Pasir Mas, Ibrahim Ali has continuously spewed vicious seditious statement ever since his election (by also idiots who didn’t know any better then) in 2008 and has not once been arrested for it. This hideous looking mongrel has not only been an advocate for Malay supremacy but also has insulted my people (who sometimes deserve it especially during times like this), the peace of the country and the harmony among people of diverse races.

He is of course the idiot of the day for the simple fact that instead of giving RED “ang pow” which is abundantly available during this time of the year, he offered the participants of his CNY makan-makan WHITE “ang pow”. To the Chinese, white “ang pow” are only given when there is a death. No other time is a white envelope used. Furthermore, it’s the CNY and white is definitely a very taboo color.

It really can only mean two things:

i. He’s really that stupid to not be aware of the Chinese culture

ii. The action was done on purpose in line with his racist stand – calling for the death of the Chinese

As pissed as I am with him, I am actually even more pissed with the Cina Bodoh that attended, accepted and walked away happily.

Before I’m done with him, I’ll leave you with some of his amazing statement as a Member of Parliament of Malaysia.

"There were reports of foreign Christian ministers wearing Muslim skullcaps and attending prayers at a certain mosque in Petaling Jaya to establish a communal relationship with Muslims before converting them. I was told these international Christian groups have unlimited funds.”
 “The Government should change the name of the Internal Security Act (ISA) to the Akta Kasih Sayang (Love and Caring Act) in order to make everyone happy.”

“The silent majority of Muslims supports Himpun. Just because there are not a lot people at every gathering does not mean there is a lack of support.”

"In the case of the United States, Barack Obama shed his language, culture and the Islamic religion of his family in Kenya and Indonesia to assimilate. This was what qualified him to become President.”

"In Malaysia, there are leaders who are not good in Malay but can still become elected representatives.”

“The reason men commit adultery is because the wives have been neglecting their bedroom responsibility”

“The Bar Council is a bastard council. They are hypocrites...I don’t respect at all the Bar Council,”

 “Imagine if chaos erupts. If the Bersih rally is not cancelled... I believe the Chinese community will have to stock up on food.”

2. THE CHINESE

As much as I am proud to be a Chinese, I am totally disgusted by the fact that the people of my race attended a function of a racist who’s spitted on your face so many times, accepted his RM10 in a WHITE ang pow and walk away happy after that. It was also reported that the people of my race were RUSHING to grab the money. Beggars! Prostitutes! Dumb Shit! Cheap Shit! Morons! Low Life Fools!

At one hand, I cannot understand how is it possible that some Chinese people can be that stupid, but then on the other hand, I get it. It’s in our blood to be that stupid. Throw a free meal party and we’re lining up first thing in the morning without even asking who’s the organizer. Free transportation – even better. Throw in some money and we’ll sell our sons and daughters just to get our hands on some of the cash. Our circuit boards are program to respond to stupid, free or cheap. We got to train our minds to go one step further to ask “from Who” and “What for”. For example, when anybody offers you something free, ask… “Who’s this from?”, “What is this for?”.. be a little smarter next time.

And let’s not try to justify that, “Oh, the Chinese people didn’t know”, “Oh.. look how unhappy they were receiving a WHITE “ang pow”…”, “They didn’t know any better”… the fact remains the same – you attended, you accepted WITHOUT making a shit noise about it and you went home happy only to find your face plastered all over the internet for accepting money from a racist punk that has been spitting at your face the whole time. The best statement from one of the attendees was this, “If the Malays can forgive during Hari Raya, we also should forgive during CNY”. What the heck??!?!?! I understand when there’s genuine forgiveness, but being stuffed with food and money and then forgiving... that’s just Chinese bullshit!

The whole event looked pretty much like Obama, Oprah, Whitney, Denzel, Morgan Freeman, Usher, Rihanna, Beyonce, Tupac and Snoop Dogg sitting down and having a meal with the Klu Klux Klan.

And since, the Chinese people already accepted their WHITE “ang pow” I can only hope the next scene would be something from the movie Final Destination – one by one of the attendees dying a goryfying death… then the White “ang pow” would have served its purpose.

EXERCISE – MYTHS AND TRUTHS

Many people today are obsessed with exercising to ensure a healthy lifestyle. People sign up for fitness centres, ensure a certain form of exercise is carried out at certain period of time – i.e. evening walks, swimming on the weekends, cycling once every fortnightly, etc. Of course my parents and friends are somewhat also concern with the amount of exercise I do everyday/weekly, so questions like, “Have you been exercising?”, “When was the last time you went to a gym?”, “Ha..? You never join a gym ar?”, “Follow your brother to the gym la”and “Exercise helps lower your cholesterol and blood pressure”.

Just to digress a little, life can be rather confusing t times. During my schooling years, scoring high scores in everything was always rewarded. But now all of a sudden in my adult life, high scores are frowned upon… “Aiyoo.. you better watch your cholesterol scores / your blood pressure score”. What happened to “Good job for scoring such a high score in your cholesterol/blood pressure results!!!” or “Next time you can try to get a higher score”.

In any case, I personally believe that hitting the gyms and having a routine like evening walks n cycling etc are nothing more than a gimmick 1. By fitness centres to rake in more money, creating a less productive working environment by constantly distracting you with the thought of working out after work and 2. By the community itself to feed its lustful needs staring at the fat aunty in tights and the half naked sagging uncle running around the neighborhood. Besides, my hamster (which I once had) runs on the mill everyday and died a month later.

Anyways, what a lot of people don’t realize is I carry out an exercise routine similar to that of an Olympic. My entire day everyday  is a participation in various Olympic events. You don’t need to be less productive at work and be caught with lustful stress if you carry out the same routine I do everyday.

1. WARMING UP

First thing before carrying out any strenuous exercise is to warm up. I perform my warm up routine the moment my alarm ring by doing sit ups. I do about 2-3 sit ups depending on how sleepy I am on that particularly morning. 1^st sit up is my attempt to wake up, if I’m really sleepy, I’ll lie back down and sleep for another 5 minutes before performing my next sit up to attempt to get up again. It’s really advisable that you do not perform more than 5 sit ups per morning as this could lead to complications when you arrive at your office from your boss particularly.

2. DIVING

Next up is diving. Every morning, I sit on my white throne and try to perform a 10/10 dive with the least amount of water splashing up. On days I’ve had a lot to eat the night before, I generally score about  5/10 – 7/10. On days when I’ve drank apple cider with physillium husk (some high fibre stuff), I can achieve a 10/10. On days I’ve got food poisoning, it’s a 1/10 or I get disqualified for too much splatter.

3. SWIMMING

Naturally since I’m already in the water event section, my next event would be swimming. Mix stroke swimming to be exact. It’s the butterfly stroke at first with me crashing through the waters. Then it’s the breast stroke cupping as much soap available and placing the hands back at my chest and finally, the freestyle towards the end of the pool.

4. SHOOTING

With the largest bullet available, in the shape of a national car, I take aim and pray to God I hit my mark. Bang!!! And off the bullet swishes through the air, whizzing across my other opponents bullets most of the time stranded mid-air (to pay for toll) and to wait in line for the nearest possible turn to shoot off once again, I definitely ace this every morning. Hitting my mark every time. Only question is whether I hit my mark on time or not.

5. MARATHON, WRESTLING, FENCING, TAI CHI, FOOTBALL

Then all of a sudden, my day becomes crazy with me participating in multiple events one after another of simultaneously. A marathon through the day, wrestling at my opponents to achieve my goal/gold, fencing off unwanted off competitors, tai chi-ing unwanted chi/work that comes a long and kicking balls the entire day.

6. WEIGHT LIFTING

Coming to the close of the day, I return home to participate in the weight lifting event. Currently my record weight is about 10kg. But it doesn’t just stop at 10kg. As the days passes, the weight increases and increases to no end.

7. ICE SLED

My closing event of the day would definitely be my participation in the winter Olympics Ice Sledding. Unlike the original event that lasts only about a couple of minute, I perform this event for a solid 8 hours through the night. I lie down, close my eyes and pray I don’t fall off and off I go. Turn left, turn right, turn left, turn right, face down, face up, face down, arms up, arms down, curl up, uncurl… 8 whole hours….

After this sharing, I’m more than confident that no one can be pestering me ever again to hit the gym or to exercise more. So much more calorie burning, strenuous and less sinful.

ATHALIE IS GROWING…

Athalie is now 14 mths old and we definitely have noticed a sudden surge in her growth – whether it’s due to the new milk powder she’s on now or it’s that time in her age where she develops extra fast. She can walk around pretty steadily now and is so much more aware of her surroundings and is able to actively engage with the things around her. She is also picking up more and more words now – comb, happy, daddy, there, how, where, yes, ba-bish (which means mummy)….

I got back early from work yesterday and while preparing dinner, Athalie was walking around the kitchen looking at mummy’s CNY goodie bags. She particularly likes one bag that contains peanuts and mandarin oranges and would spend good couple of minutes exploring the items. Of course the one constant sentence that daddy/mummy would always end up saying is, “Athalie! Don’t put the orange in your mouth”. Problem actually is because she now has 4 teeth and she’ll bite of the skin of the orange.

Once she was done with the bag, she proceeded then to the drainage hole by the fridge, steps on it, looks back at us for approval, smiles and steps on it again.

These are some of the times where it’s really heartwarming to sit by the stairs and just watch her play around and interact with the things around her. She is contented playing with herself most of the time and there are times where she would feed you, lie down with you, hold your hand to bring you somewhere, point to places she wants to go, points to the shoes she wants to wear, skip about in excitement when you carry her, gives you her funny smile and gives you her cheeky smile when she knows she about to do something borderline wrong.

All these precious moments are really just so precious when we take the time off from our busy schedule just to be around her. It just gives you the assurance that you’re not that bad a parent after all knowing she’s happy and fine even though we are first time parents.

Looking back at the fact that I had no experience what-so-ever in taking care of a baby, it’s been an amazing journey learning how to carry her, change her diapers, make her milk, soothe her, read to her, play with her, put her to sleep and of course WASH HER CLOTHES!!!! Through all of these and watching her grow now, I can at least syiok sendiri and pat myself on the back for a job well done. Of course my wife deserves a much bigger pat on her back as she has really sacrificed a lot in this journey.

The journey is definitely not over and there’s a lot more that I need to learn especially seeing how Athalie’s cheekiness comes a lot from me, I would definitely need to seek counsel from my parents as to how they dealt with me when I was young. Every time I see how she gives us the cheeky look and does something mischievous, I can only tell myself, “God has a strange sense of humor” and I can’t really get angry with her cause then I would be getting angry at myself. It’s like looking at myself grow all over again.

These precious moments have also put a lot of perspective back into my life especially in the area of work. I am of course more determined than ever to ensure I leave office on time so I can at least spend a couple of minutes with her before she falls to sleep. She’s only going to go through her stages once and if I miss those times, I can never ask her to re-live those moment just because daddy came back late from work. This is of course strictly my personal conviction.

So for the new year that has just arrived, this new year would be the year I spend a lot more time with my family and treasure each and every moment with them. Afterall, they’ll be the ones that would be with me till the day I breath my last.

PIGGIN OUT @ PASSIONS OF KERALA (PENANG)

Another main attraction everytime we visit Penang is their Nasi Kandar. Line Clear was really awesome and Nasi Kandar Beratur was so-so (we went there for lunch but someone told us the real stuff is at night). But ever since our daughter was born, visiting those places is quite of a hassle due to the cleanliness, heat and space. Thankfully though we were introduced to this new banana leaf rice restaurant by a close friend and not only is the place air-cond and cozy, the food is really great and cheap.

The 1^st outlet was opened in Seberang Jaya area and was a hit among the people there. This new outlet is located within New World Park at Penang Island. Passions of Kerala has also been featured extensively in various newspaper.

First up is the rice. You can either choose White Rice (RM5.50) or Tomato Rice (RM6.50) which as usual comes with complimentary vegetables. I love tomato rice. The tomoto rice is done just the way I like it, slightly moist with a slight tinge of sweet smelling spice.

There are of course additional side dishes which you can order. Their most famous dish here would be their Chicken Masala. It is rich in flavor and complemented by a thick flavorful curry sauce. RM6.00 for a small plate which is not small at all.

Not to be beaten would also be their Mutton Masala. Slightly less saucy but delicious nonetheless. RM6.00 for a small plate (which again isn’t very small).

Banana Leaf rice would never be perfect without something fried. The fried bittergourd is something that you’ll need to order. Thinly sliced bittergourd coated and fried in flour. RM6.00 for a medium plate.

With the very reasonable price and uncompromised taste to their food, this is one place that we would always visit whenever we’re up in Penang and we always come out stuffed to the brink due to our greed to down as much to last us till our next visit.  

Location:

102-C-3, New World Park,

102, Jalan Burma,

10050 Penang.

04-2272550 / 012-4388550

A STRANGE CULTURE CALLED CHINESE

I’m BACK! After disappearing for close to 3 weeks due to super hectic work schedule I’m back. And what better time to start writing again as we’re all still all soaked with the Chinese New Year spirit.

As we are celebrating CNY with overloading ourselves with scrumptious food and being immerse in the whole mood of festivities, I couldn’t help but to wonder about the interesting practices that we the Chinese people do especially during this time of festivities. I for one already believe that we the Chinese people have a tendency to self destruct ourselves by placing upon ourselves super high expectations (Case in Point: Wedding – we spend so much on a one day event; i.e. the hantaran, the restaurant, the clothes, the photos, the drinks etc; as compared to the people of the other races, Indians, Malay, Ang Mohs – we literally kill ourselves expecting that the normal Chinese wedding should consist all of the above making it super hard to even get married as a Chinese).

Anyways, back to CNY, here are some strange practices that got me thinking:

1. Prawns

Prawns are sort of a must have dish during CNY. The believe is that it’s suppose to add happiness during the CNYmeals due to what’s it is called in Chinese – “Ha”. So the “Ha” is suppose to create more “Hahaha’s” as in laughing and thus happiness. With increase demand and reduced supply during CNY, the prices of pranws skyrockets and the only person I think is really HAHAHA-ing over the “Ha” is the seller themselves while we the Chinese suckers keep telling ourselves, this is gonna make my reunion a happier one.

2. The Kitchen God and Alzheimer’s

Nin-Ko is another favorite item during CNY. It is believed that the Kitchen God during CNY return to the kingdom above and report to Mr. Almighty the bad deeds that you have done. So to stop the Kitchen God from reporting anything bad, the sticky Nin-Ko is served to him before CNY so his mouth would get all stuck up and he’s not able to report anything.

There’s 2 strange things about this scenario. 1. The Chinese people do this every year for the longest time and every year the Kitchen God falls into the same trap and eats the Nin-Ko and then fails to report anything to Mr. Almighty. I can only conclude that the Kitchen God suffers from Alzheimer’s and would require to seek medical attention. 2. It would be a really interesting sight to behold when millions of Kitchen Gods from the various households stand in front of Mr. Almighty with their mouths stuck with Nin-Ko. What would Mr. Almighty say then?

3. Pubic Hair Anyone?

Another must have dish during CNY is “Fatt Choy” that looks like a compilation of pubic hair from a thousand people served with taufu or other vegetable. And the Chinese go crazy over this pubic hair because of it’s name – “Fatt” – which means Prosperity. So if one day, I start selling my mucus and call it “Fatt Chui” – Prosperous water – it’ll be the next hot selling item during CNY.

4. Feng Shui

How can we ever forget about Feng Shui. Every Chinese would want to ensure the best feng shui during CNY. Everything red, furnitures must be arranged accordingly, going back to work on the right date, the right colored clothes during CNY etc. So one of my gung-ho colleague checked out my work place feng shui and apparently the direction where I am facing is really bad feng shui and the right direction should be the other way. Big problem there. Don’t think my boss would be very happy with me if I change the direction where I am facing.

 

BAD FENG SHUI

GOOD FENG SHUI

5. Mandarin Oranges

I mention earlier that we the Chinese people have this tendency to self-destruct and I’ll just end this post with Mandarin Oranges. Mandarin Oranges is a must have during CNY and we eat like loads of them during this time. But the problem with Mandarin Oranges is this – it causes CONSTIPATION. So... we binge and binge during CNY and instead of eating food that helps us poop the next day we binge again on Mandarin Oranges that constipates us. In the end, we end up being bloated, unable to poop and might as well put on a countdown timer on ourselves to see when we would explode.  

I know after this, I’m going to get bashed for being very Un-Chinese so before I end, the disclaimer:

The thoughts expressed above are strictly of personal view and in no way meant to offend any practitioner and believer. In the event the above post offended anyone in any way, kindly refrain from reading and if you have, the owner of the blog is not liable for your lack of self-control. Peace.

IDIOSYNCRACY: THE MOST IDIOTIC PM IN 2011

Idiosyncrasy – the syncing of idiots all in one place (Rojaking, 2011)

No reward for guessing this right. Every blind man on earth would be able to point to you this Prime Minister (PM) that resides in Malaysia, in a place called Putrajaya.

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My beloved PM took office in 2009 after Badawi stepped down due the loss of confidence we Malaysians had with the ruling regime and to date, 3 years down the road, Najib has yet to have the balls to call for an election – of course this is also due the many idiotic crap he’s thrown at us for the past years.

Najib, in 2011 will always and continually be remembered for:

1. Atlantuya and the Submarine

Girls, Sex & Submarines

Whether it was Razak Baginda’s submarine or Najib’s submarine or their “submarine”, Atlantuya was involved in brokering the submarine deal whether on papers or in the bedroom with Razak’s “submarine” or Najib’s “submarine” and she ended bombed to pieces near my house in Shah Alam and the court sentenced two of Najib’s bodyguard guilty of murder without motive.

Well, the submarines arrived and it did not dive. That also I am not too sure if they meant the submarine or “submarine” and who’s didn’t “dive” and the people ended up paying billions for 2 overpriced submarines. The cost breakdown was probably as follow:

50% - Submarine cost

50% - Viagra cost

But at least where our court are too scared shit to talk about submarine and convicting the right people, we have our dear friends in France who have set up an investigation team to uncover the truth and then we’ll see, whose submarine was guilty.

2. BERSIH 2.0

If Tan Sri Zainuddin Maidin (Tan Sri sum more) was the most embarrassing individual for Malaysians (during Bersih 1 with his interview with Al-Jazeera), then Najib would have been the most embarrassing individual to every Malaysians during Bersih 2.0.

He continually stumbled and stumbled during the whole event as if the PM function with a lack of a brain.

Arrest were made BEFORE the event, Bersih organizers, PSM members and even t-shirts. PSM members were arrested under our famous Internal Security Act (ISA) for the usual inciting and seditious for allegedly preaching communism. Of course they were all released after much public pressure which really begs the question… was the arrest really warranted? Why arrest people under such serious outdated laws when you don’t have concrete evidence against them? Btw, Bersih t-shirts are still under arrest.

Arrest of course were made DURING the event, 1,600 people seeking clean and fair elections were arrested by lying FRU (who said they didn’t shoot into the hospital but admitted later they did) and our famous bribe taking Malaysian police officers (not all of them of course, there are of course good cops out there, but so far, every time I’ve been stopped, it’s “RM50 ada” and for the record, my stand is never to bribe and I have never bribed). SO IRONIC. It’s like criminals arresting innocent people. Imagine if Botak Chin being a police officer while he was a murderer at the same time. And of course there’s the dumbness in arresting 1,600 people when you know damn well you’re going to have to release them very very soon because:

i.         You’ll be shitting in your pants for the next 2 and a half days non-stop taking statement from 1,600 people you arrested (20min per arrest with 10 cops on duty) and we all know making a report for accident also takes 1-2 hours.

ii.       You would never be able to put to trial all 1,600 demonstrators. Out courts are already loaded the back log, the first court appear for the first defendant would probably be 50 years down from now.

iii.      Keeping and 1,600 people is no joke with having to think about feeding them, ensuring proper sanitation, providing beds, sheets, pillow… heck.. imagine trying to get your hand on 1,600 beds… that’s just crazy so you definitely can’t keep them for long.

Other idiotic actions that was taken that should have been processed by a brain are:

i.                     Flip-flops in first promising any stadiums and then backing down last minute. That was a real low blow.

ii.                   Banning of t-shirts. That was just shallow.

iii.                  Making statements like “It’s bad for business” when if I am a business man around the vicinity, I’ll increase my stocks, my price just for that day and probably make enough money to last me for a month without working.

iv.                 Blame traffic jams on the protest when the police were the ones manning the road and seriously I bet that was super effective. What would you ask someone you stop? “Pegi mana?”-“KL”-“ TANGKAP”, Kereta kuning- “TANGKAP”, Seluar kuning-“TANGKAP”, Underwear kuning-“TANGKAP”, Kasut kuning-“TANGKAP”, Janggut panjang macam olang PAS-“TANGKAP”, Mata sepet macam Kit Siang-“TANGKAP”. If I was Najib with a brain, I would seriously do a simple math, # of cars guilty / # of cars stopped for the day… and btw… what were you going to do with the guilty cars?

v.                   Lying – we are in a modern society with enough readily available technology to record true events. So don’t ever try to lie and then come up with lame excuses like “I dari Ipoh, tak tau ada hospital sana, tembak saja” and then deny for the next 6 months and then give us that statement.

3. FBC

Najib is the best, Najib is cool, Najib is awesome, Najib is hot… Najib is a piece of shit cause he paid millions to FBC and other agency to increase his popularity… WITH OUR MONEY! And thank God he got caught for it.

4. 1 Malaysia

Cakap tarak serupa bikin. At one moment, he goes around shouting 1 Malaysia just like how Tunku Abdul Rahman did his Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! But an act that was supposedly a symbol of pride to all Malaysia – Merdeka, is now used to blindside the nation to the inconsistent slogan he now shouts about. What’s 1 Malaysia when you allow idiots like Ibrahim Ali to run around the street mocking and inciting hatred among other races? What’s 1 Malaysia when your own Deputy demands his race comes 1^st? What’s 1 Malaysia when you yourself cling on so tightly to protecting your own Malay agenda? What’s 1 Malaysia when Christians are used by you and your ministers as scapegoat to incite unease? All wasted money.

5. Budget 2011

The tabling of the budget was a great time to put stride to improving the economy in the upcoming uncertain times. But my PM being the PM still missing his brains, he had to used that time to take pot shots at the opposition which was really, really, really unbearable stupid, childish and embarrassing. On top of that, instead of tabling something concrete, it was pretty much a hand-out budget. ONE TIME OFF $$$ to students, ONE TIME OFF $$$ to low-income earners etc. Any learned man on the street would know ONE TIME OFF payments are not going to help strengthen the economy at all. What do you expect the low income earners to do with ONE TIME OFF payment? Relieve for 1 month and then what? Back to square one! Money wasted. That money could have been put into much greater use by improving the economy, increasing job availability, putting effort into reducing inflation.

6. Sodomizing Saiful

Anwar? Sodomy? Again? Any smart PM would have thought of another method to bring down his nemesis… but not my PM…. He believe in the tried-tested-proven method. Just that he forgot, this time around, people are a lot smarter.

Already Saiful’s testimony is leaking everywhere except his anus – i.e –

i.                     Meeting Najib in Putrajaya – crap! who gets to do that? Maybe if I’m desperate enough I’ll go to him and tell him that Mr. Ibrahim sodomized me just to have a chat with him.

ii.                   Met police officer in a hotel room to have his statement taken – again crap! I wish when I made my police report on my accident, I’ll be asked to meet them in a hotel in KL instead of their run down balai in Puchong which doesn’t even have a proper clean toilet.

iii.                  Went to Pusrawi – Doc says… “Your butt is looking good. Still very kental”. Went again to Hospital KL, “Oh... sangat loose. Ada nama Anwar dalam”. Instead of convicting the person who sodomized Saiful in between Pusrawi and HKL (which was probably the police officers he met in the HOTEL ROOM, they charge Anwar.

iv.                 A young strong man could not fight off a old fragile man with back pain. Think about it (especially to the men out there), if you’re about to get sodomized against your will, won’t you fight as hard as you can to wrest off the assailant? Anwar must have super powers.

So there you have it, apart from Muammar Gaddafi who is now dead, my beloved PM, Najib must have been voted as the MOST IDIOTIC PM in 2011.

If ever Darwin was right in his theory of evolution, he just got it the wrong way. He should have studied the evolution of Malaysian’s PM (Tunku Abdul Rahman, Abdul Razak, Hussein Onn, Mahathir, Abdullah Badawi, Najib).

PIGGIN OUT: SIN WAH CHAR KUEY TEOW (PENANG)

IT’S EVERYWHERE!!! Penang and Char Kuey Teow have become synonymous for the longest time. Where’s the best CKT? Penang.

They are of course plenty of CKT stalls in every nook and corner of Penang. I have only 2 stands when it come to CKT.

i.         I’m not going to pay more than what I have to pay for in KL for a plate of CKT

ii.       Stay away from Gurney Drive (and this applies to all other food – the quality of Gurney Drive food has dropped tremendously from like 20 yrs ago. The food there now is yucky and expensive. Leave Gurney Drive to the tourist).

Following that 2 stand and you’re probably end up eating a reasonably price and delicious plate of CKT. No need to hunt for Lorong Selamat, line up like crazy, wait like crazy, get the bitch-like stare from the owner and pay RM7 for a regular plate of CKT. I have personally not tasted but from what I hear, it’s not worth all the sweat.

Our personal favorite CKT stall is located in the town of Pulau Tikus, by the wet market. This stall is only open at night. For a normal plate of CKT without egg, it cost RM3.50, with egg RM4.00, duck egg RM4.50, which is also already a bit pricey by Penang standard and borderline KL price.

The CKT comes loaded with 3-4 big fresh juicy prawns, squid (white one), sotong (brown one) and of course “si ham” (cockles). If you sit within the specified radius of the shop, it comes in a plate if not, he serves you in a take-away packet. The CKT taste absolutely delicious especially with duck egg and does not have the overbearing oil taste (even though you know it’s there).

NOTE: There’s another CKT shop open in this area as well, right by the side of the road, which taste horrible. So look at the CKT chiu pai (board) and make sure it’s SIN WAH CHAR KUEY TEOW.

This place also holds a variety of other tasty dishes; Curry Mee, Prawn Mee and Sotong Kang Kung. Priced at RM6, RM8, RM12, a RM6 / RM8 would already come with a loadful of sotong and delicious tim cheong (sweet sauce).

Location:

Jalan Pasar,

Taman Pulau Pinang,

10350 Georgetown,

Penang.

GPS: N5.430306, E100.312012