Today, 13 December 2011, is the day 3 years ago when Ju Li and me walked down the aisle and took a vow to be together for better or for worse. It was a beautiful day.
REWIND
I met Ju Li while we were studying in HELP together. It was definitely not love at first sight because I did not remember that we were working together in the same group for our 2nd semester project and had to be reminded by her a year later (when we got closer). And till today, I still have difficulty recalling that :P For her, I was the guy that her parents would have warned her to stay away from (not that I am some badass punk who smokes, drinks, parties, curses or visits Bangkok frequently). I was just the guy who was never serious in lectures, made full use of the 30% absentee allowance (you had to attend 70% of your lectures in order not to be barred from the course), slept in most of his classes (especially those held in the auditorium – cinema type of chairs), got her to mark my attendance for 8:00am classes and attended church very consistently – once every quarter.
But as fate had it, in our 2nd and 3rd year, we started getting closer and closer and I believe that it was the Cantonese dramas that we watched together at my rented house that really brought us together (if we/she had classes that ended at 6:00pm, she’ll come over to my rented place and watch Cantonese drama’s in the hall together with me to wait for the traffic to clear).
But then, Ju Li being Ju Li, she wanted to be sure that I was the right person… the right man… the only man… the awesome man… the wonderful man… the great man… THE MAN...! So we had like a waiting period of a couple of months before kicking it all off.
Years passed, outings, dates, movies, of course the time I left for the States for 1 year, back and getting married.
PLAY
Today of course I am happily married to the college sweetheart and we now own a little baby girl. Through the 7 years of being together, there were definitely ups and downs… “Focus on the ups and there are more ups… Focus on the downs and there are more downs” (Mahaguru Mua, 2011). But with every passing day, it’s the appreciation of the things that we have gone thru that keeps us moving forward. More significantly of course are the bad times, when it’s all done & said, sitting back (of course not immediately) and reminiscing on the things that were said, the actions that was done, we just appreciate each other even more day by day.
Of course it takes a heck load of humility too to change your so thought “grandeur” or “the right” way of life… to break down all schemas and to build up new ones together to fit into our own needs and wants. To say sorry, to forgive, to move on, to laugh again and to hold each other once again genuinely.
FAST FORWARD
Many times people have asked, how do you know you’ll be with her forever? How are you so sure? The answer is really as simple as this… “You’ll know”. It’s not cliché, it’s not out of a text book but really each and everyone would go through different experiences, and when you’ve found the one, “you’ll know”.
With Ju Li, it was simply 2 things:
1. Being a normal boy, I obviously had many a couple of “past relationships” (such a nice word for gf’s).
How many “past relationships”?
(Take Ju Li’s “past relationship” x 5) – (my 2 brother’s total relationships/2) + (my age/5)
The equation just goes all wrong when you reach “my 2 brother’s total relationships” cause 1 of my brother totally lost count :P So let’s forget about counting…
As I was saying, when it got to Ju Li, it never crossed my mind of thinking of a breakup through our 4 years of dating (now of course no need to breakup.. can forget about it already). Simple but that was one big difference when it got to dating Ju Li, for some strange reasons, it really never crossed my mind to call it quits even through the downiest point of our relationship.
2. I don’t cry in front of people (it’s not an MCP statement but just how my emotions are crippled by the fact that there's an unclear passage between my heart-brains-eye that would require further medical intervention). There are only 4 times in my entire life that I have cried in open (apart from when I was a kid and when I got a bus load of spanking) – and all of it happened in church (when I was prayed for, when we prayed for a close friend who had cancer and when a close friend had a miscarriage and was reflecting on God’s grace) except for the 4th… which was when I was about to leave for the States and with Ju Li in my room, I just cried. Public outflow of emotion is something that is very difficult for me to let out, but when it does happen, it is something that I am just overwhelmed with and at that moment, I was just overwhelmed by the fact that I loved Ju Li so much and could not bear the thought of leaving her behind for a whole year.
These things might seem really simple but these are the things that are significantly different from everything in my past coupled with the inner peace within that I know that Ju Li is THE ONE.
Of course it’s not going to be a peaceful cruise ship through calm oceans and it could be the titanic sinking experience everyday but deep down I know that God has been very faithful and gracious through the years and would definitely guide us through the storms to calmer waters everyday. It’s really not about watching the sunrise everyday but watching the sunset everyday that matters - to sit back, reflect on the day that has gone by (good/bad) and to know that no matter what, we still have each other for the next day come what may.
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