MY HEART BROKE

 CRUSHED! BEATEN! SMASHED! GRINDED! SQUEEZED OF ITS EVERY LIFE!

Every Sunday for the past couple of months, we’ve been sending Athalie to Sunday school right after worship. As my wife is heavily pregnant now, I have been the one bringing her to the back, sitting together with her initially and then standing behind while she independently does her work interjecting only occasionally. The main idea of it all was that in the near future, she’ll be able to sit all by herself without me being there and she being ok with it. To slowly achieve this, I have been occasionally disappearing from the back and usually within 5 min, she would come looking for me. The very first time I disappeared, she was absolutely ok and when thru the entire class without me in it at all. We were so happy then at how independent she became so quickly. However, the second time around when I disappeared, she cried. Then after telling her where I would always be, she would just whine and walk to where I was “hiding” and ask me to go back and stand at the back (so she could always see me). So that was the usual routine every Sunday at her Sunday school class.

This fine Sunday however, for some reason, the Sunday school teacher decided that it was high time the parents all disappeared, NEVER to return until the class is over (EVEN IF YOUR KID CRIES). She first suggested it to the parents to leave, however some were still mingling, not willing to depart from their kid. I very nervously decided that it was time for Athalie to be independent and bravely I told the teacher, I’m leaving and if anything, I’ll be outside. Me- the Brave and Mighty Dad. Afterall, I’ve been the biggest proponent of letting kids cry and not giving in. Slowly I creeped out, Athalie didn’t know I disappeared then.

5 minutes after, to my horror, wailings were heard from within the class. The teacher had actually shooed all the parents out and as I stood outside the door, I could see the parents streaming out amidst the cries and wails and there Athalie was, in the teacher’s arm crying her heart out for me… “I want Daddy!!! I want Daddy!!! I want Daddy!!!” The teacher shut the door. My heart stopped.

Disoriented. Guilty. My heart just dropped at the sight of her crying and me not being able to soothe her. While the other parents left, I stood by the door, hoping to get a glimpse of her being ok. But all I heard was more wailing and crying from the room and I was so darn sure I heard  Athalie still crying her heart out for me but yet I couldn’t see her. I could only hear her wails and cries. I tried looking for another way to get a glimpse of her but to no avail.

What have I done!!?!? What if she cries herself crazy??!?!?? What if this leads to more insecurity and she becomes super attached/dependent on us after this?!?!?? What if she hates me after this??!?! WWWWHHHAAATTTT IIIIFFFFFFFF……?!?!?!?!?!

As I stood outside, a friend of mine who had to bring his kid out cause he was underage for the trauma was outside with me as well. Unable to quell my uneasiness and my disorientation, I asked him for a favor – “BC, could you go into the room and see if Athalie is ok”. He said sure. He went in, and as I anxiously waited for him to let me know her status, he told me this, “There’s too many kids crying inside. I couldn’t see Athalie”…. …. …. I was like WTH!!! There’s not a lot of kids in there and all I asked was for you to look for Athalie and see how she was!!!!! Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh….!!!! My heart remained as restless and disoriented as it was.

While all the parents had gone back to the main sanctuary to listen to the sermon, I just couldn’t bring myself to sit out there, so far away from Athalie. I wanted to grab her and hug her the moment she stepped out of the class to tell her how sorry I was for leaving her there. So I sat in some place in between the main sanctuary and the Sunday school area.

The teacher emerged from the class carrying a boy who couldn’t stop wailing back to the mother. She saw me sitting at the “in-between” and told me, “Go sit in the sanctuary. Don’t worry about your daughter. She’s ok”. She told me this 3 times and my reply was always, “It’s ok”. I remained sitted where I was. I wasn’t going to budge. I will be the first thing my daughter sees when she’s done. She went back to her class.

I sneaked back to the door just so I could hear if Athalie was still crying. There were still wailing kids inside but I couldn’t make out Athalie’s voice anymore. But hopping and squinting through the door, I couldn’t see Athalie and hence couldn’t be sure of her exact condition.

My wife, suddenly pop in the area and she told me that it was already the sermon’s last slide. I totally forgot I was on bass duty that week and I had to go back to the main sanctuary to play the closing song. I told her what had happened and she was like as cool as a cucumber. No disorientation. No worry. Nothing. I had now become the crazy, clinging, disoriented father who had detachment issue with my daughter. She was the matured mother.

Went back on stage to play the last song. I could hardly focus as all there was in my mind was going back to the back to get my daughter (of course I played a couple of wrong chords). After the last song, I became even more anxious to sprint all the way to the back to see her but had to stay on a couple more of minutes to play what I would call a “disbursing song” where we just played the chorus of the song, while the crowd gets up and exits. Right when it ended, put my bass down and walked as quickly as I could to the back.

There she was, with slightly puffy eyes, and the first word she uttered, “I cried today in Sunday school”. How my heart dropped at the ordeal that she had to go through. Instead of letting her walk by herself (I’ve always asked her walked whenever she wanted to be carried), I told her, “You want Daddy to carry?” and she was non-chalant about my request. Too traumatized or just too distracted with the array of toys she had in her hand, I do not know.

So there it was, me the bravest, the loudest of them all and the biggest proponent of letting children cry to help them to the next level put to the test. In real life situation. ULTIMATE FAIL.

PIGGIN OUT @ KAMPACHI, EQUATORIAL BANGI

We once craved to try the much talked about Japanese weekend buffet at Equatorial Hotel. But always got distracted through the years but finally, a couple of months back, we finally manage to find the time to visit Kampachi at Equatorial Bangi (as Equatorial KL is now close for renovation).

 

We were looking forward to dine here after hearing so much about the place and how it’s always fully booked months in advance so I was really surprise when I tried my luck making the reservation 2 days before, I actually got it.

 

When we arrive, was firstly disappointed at how small the dining area was with limited tables (no wonder fully book all the time). Walked around to check out the buffet  spread and sad to say, it wasn’t very appetizing. The spread was sad. 6-7 dishes of pre-cooked food, a small section of cook-on-the-spot which cooked small portions at a very slow speed, a sashimi counter (which did serve fresh sashimi), and a dessert section (with a not too bad spread). The other sad thing about this place was their sukiyaki counter. They had this huge pot of soup boiling with sukiyaki stuff and when you request for a bowl, they just scoped out a little bit of each (which is fine) but it’s just that the ingredients in it is continually being boiled and if you reach here later, it’ll probably be porridge sukiyaki by then.

 

So much for high expectation. The restaurant beside Kampachi looked so much more appetizing.

 

 

 

 

STRIPPIN DOWN, COOKING UP: PUMPKIN CHICKEN

It has been a while since I last stripped down to cook. However, recently I’ve decided to cook again especially for my dinners so I am able better to control my diet. I use to go to my in-laws for dinner but then I find myself stuffing myself more than I should – especially when she cooks sambal petai. So… trying to stick with my diet plan, I started cooking simple high protein low carbs meal for dinner when I get back from office.

This recipe here is already considered quite elaborate during working days as most days, I would just marinate a meat and stuff it into the oven to cook.

Ingredients:

         i.            Chicken breast – sliced and diced

       ii.            A slice of pumpkin dice

      iii.            Anchovies – handful

 

 

First fry the anchovies till it’s almost crispy

Then fry the pumpkin. Pumpkin takes a little longer to cook so let it simmer in some water.

Once the pumpkin is almost cooked, add in the sliced diced chicken breast. Add in more water if required.

The watery bits should begin to thicken at the end. A really good sign your pumpkin is now soft and ready.

 

And serve…

 

 

Simple…

 

OF SWEATY PALMS, BEATING HEARTS AND ANXIOUS MINDS

1 more month (or earlier) would be the arrival of our second child Evan and to date, I am quite sure there’s quite a lot of things that we have yet to do to prepare for his arrival. Talking like pros after having our first, my usual response is always… “What to worry? Got shopping mall all around ma…”. So changing table – not bought yet, clothes – barely/just enough, double breast pump (for my wife of course) – not bought yet, mittens/booties – I think we’ve got this, cotton wool – got some leftover from 2 years ago… well… we’re pretty ready… I think…

 

But apart from the physical preparations, I think I am so much more worried about how emotionally I am prepared to receive another child. Don’t get me wrong, I am very excited and thankful that God has decided to bless us with another child, but the routine that I’ll have to go through again just brings about a cold shiver through my mind, body and soul – it’s really that bad.

 

Days where I’ll have to survived through constantly disrupted sleep, increase in household chores – ESPECIALLY HANGING THE BABIES CLOTHES, washing bottles, sterilizing bottles, boiling water, picking and monitoring 2 kids around the house, bathing 2 kids, changing diapers for 2 kids, changing clothes for 2 kids and that’s not even talking about managing 2 kids through holidays. Especially this year… where I’ve got added responsibility at work, buying, renovating and moving into our new house… my heart feels like it’s got 2 x 10kg dumbbells hanging on it.

 

I think what makes it worst is Athalie going thru a regression period where she needs extra comfort and security these days (knowing that another child is coming along). We use to be able to put her on her own bed (beside our bed) to sleep for at least half the night – but now she insist to sleep on our bed from the very 1^st hour (and when asked – “Where’s Evan going to sleep?” she replies, “In the cot la… here no space already”), she was barely waking up for milk and sleeping through the night – but when we told her “Athalie big girl already ya.. no need to wake up for milk k..” she wakes up 3 times to drink milk! and where she was independently walking around, up and down the strairs by herself – she now wants you to carry her. I can only hope and pray that when the baby comes, she understands that we love her same and revert back to her independent self again.

 

But despite all these anxiousness about how to survive, one thing I’ve learned from my experience with Athalie is when the time comes, we humans naturally are made to adapt and survive through it. The most amazing adaptation I ever made was my need for my hours of sleep. In the past before any kids, I would need ample of sleep failing which I would fall ill easily. But when we had Athalie and the super disrupted sleep I had and the near wiping off of my long afternoon naps, I survived. So… this time around… as crazy as I might think it’s going to be… I will survived. To add on further, my compass for survival is my colleague LO – 2 young kids, 2 working adults, no parents/in-laws within a 100km radius, no maid (not even part time) and still survive. So I should be able to survive... fingers cross… here we go…

PIGGIN OUT @ TOM, DICK & HARRY’S, TTDI

So breakfast/brunch seems to be the new in thing in town… I mean it’s been a while but it’s only now that I am catching up… What?!!? I’m not slow k… I just enjoy my thosai, roti canai, the tarik at my regular mamak at 10am k…

A couple of weeks back, a group of my friends decided to meet up at Tom, Dick and Harry’s instead of our yearly CNY meetup at a Chinese restaurant. We met at about 12:30pm… yes… it’s lunch… but we ordered their breakfast menu so it’s BREAKFAST.

Overall, the experience here was pretty much so-so. Nothing spectacular or nerve shocking.

First up was the “The American Breakfast”  (RM23) – a breakfast set with 2 sunny side up, hash brown, pork sausage, mushroom, bacon, baked beans and 1 slice of regular bread (cut into a triangle). I love freshly baked bread for breakfast so the sight of the 2 pieces of triangle bread with baked beans and sunny side up eggs just made me feel I was camping or in some cheap hotel which serves breakfast and that thought just drowned all the other food. Also, instead of serving you freshly brewed coffee you get free flow coffee from a tank which tasted pretty much like water.

The “Spinach Wrap” (RM20) was badly presented and there’s nothing much to shout about how it tasted. My Sikh restaurant at Bangsar does a much better spinach dish and cost a lot less.

A friend ordered “Egg Benedick’s” (RM20) which looked a lot more appetizing. Didn’t get to taste it so can’t comment much.

Overall this will not be my first choice for breakfast/brunch but would definitely be back to try their much talk about pork knuckle. However, one really annoying thing here is that they allow pets to be brought into the restaurant. I personally love dogs, but bringing a dog into a restaurant is a whole different thing. I wouldn’t mind if you wrap your dog up in cling wrap and bring him/her in but you can’t and your dogs fur would probably be flying around into people’s food. That’s just disgusting. Period.

Location:
18, Lorong Rahim Kajai 14,
TTDI,
60000 Kuala Lumpur

GPS: N3.154730, E101.623124

PIGGIN OUT @ PLAN B, BANGSAR VILLAGE

You know what they say… if Plan A doesn’t work out, go with Plan B… and that was exactly what happened. We were all set to wake up at 9am to go to Antipodean but we were so tired from the night before that we went right back to sleep and woke up at about 10am and by the time we reached Antipodean, Bangsar, there was already a line outside the restaurant so we decided to hop right into Bangsar Village and try Plan B instead.

The place was full but the wait was short. We got a seat within 10 minutes and the service was really good. We only had to wait for a short while for our food to arrive and service was really prompt.

The food… was one of the places where you visit and feel completely satisfied after your meal… like you paid it’s worth and the feeling of a completely satisfied palate cannot be traded for anything else.

The Plan B Breakfast Platter was a big plate filled with eggs (of your choice), sausage, hash brown, ham, toast and baked beans plus a orange juice AND COFFEE of your choice. All for RM26.

We also ordered their Moroccan Lamb Meatballs (RM24) and this was one satisfying pasta. The smell and taste of the meatballs were heavenly and the tomato puree spread around the pasta was satisfying.

We were so happy that they have also opened an outlet in Midvalley (our Wednesday movie spot). Our experience with their food in Bangsar Village was so memorable  that in the last 2 months, we have already visited their Midvalley outlet twice. So if you’re looking for a reasonably priced absolutely satisfying breakfast/brunch/dinner… this is the place to go.

p/s – The other food that was good that I didn’t snap any pictures of are Wild Mushroom pasta and Corn Beef Hash.

Location:

Bangsar Village 1,

G5, Ground Floor,

No. 1, Jalan Telawi Satu, Bangsar Baru,

59100 Kuala Lumpur

Midvalley,

Ground Floor,

Lingkaran Syed Putra,

59200 Kuala Lumpur.

http://www.thebiggroup.co/planb/

CHINESE NEW YEAR 2013

This year, I was very much looking forward to Chinese New Year mainly because instead of the lau juak lau juak celebration that usually happens, this year, we would be holed up in Rompin Bungalow, Fraser’s Hill.

We first found out about this bungalow a year ago and even though our stay there was only for a 2 days and 1 night, we absolutely enjoyed how serene and quiet the place was, not forgetting of course how the bungalow was excellently managed and tastefully decorated. The only problem is they don’t rent out room by room but you’ll have to rent out the whole bungalow which cost about RM1700++. So we’ve been trying to plan a holiday back there ever since but it’s been tough to get 10 people to go together and no way my wife, kid and me would rent it with just the 3 of us. So we were really excited that we managed to secure both our families to celebrate New Years eve there and this time, we made sure we stayed 3 days 2 nights.

Needless to say, we all totally appreciated the break in a quiet and quaint comfortable bungalow all to ourselves. BBQ on the first night and steamboat in the open cooling air was really refreshing. No need to rush around for things or prepare elaborate meals. Even sight-seeing was done at the slowest pace possible. A total opposite of how we would have celebrated CNY but a wonderful reunion nonetheless where more time was spent conversing and enjoying each others company.

Here are the pics of the wonderful place…

Location:

Rompin House,

Lot 2490,

Jalan Semantan,

Bukit Fraser,

49000 Pahang

03-2730 9988