DIARRHEA – THINGS TO BE THANKFUL ABOUT

DIARRHEA… the one word I can never spell it right (unless of course if I’m on MS Word). Other acceptable spelling to me are diarhea, diahrhea, dyerhea, diearia. Honestly, it should have been appropriately spelt as DIEREAR – death at the rear.

So, yes I was down with pretty bad DIARRHEA for the past 3 days. This is one time in my life when my dream of being part of the Autobot comes true… I was literally transformed into a Karcher Power Washer/Hose.

High powered liquid is shot out of my ass and if I ever point my ass at the dirtiest molded wall there is, it’ll definitely turn into one heck of a sparkling white wall (apart from the brownish yellowish marks from you know what).

The sequence of my very diahrrhea-ful 3 days began on Saturday early morning (3am) when I felt like puking but nothing came out even though after forcing it bulimically. Saturday morning shopping and then a friends full moon lunch followed. In the afternoon, felt the same vomitty feeling so decided to try to vomit it out again and this time manage to dig out some but I knew it wasn’t the end of it. Nothing much for the rest of Saturday and Sunday except for the same nauseatic feeling. Come Monday morning at 6:45am when I woke up to get ready for work… AUTOBOTS… TRANSFORM!!!!

So from Monday – Wednesday, the toilet was my second home and my house sounded like we lived beside a waterfall. After 2 days of MC, 6 DVDs, and tones of toilet paper… I think there are a few things I could be thankful for. In darkness, there’s always a ray of light, no matter how thin.

So… I’m thankful that…

1.       I don’t have to pay RM0.20 everytime I visit the toilet… I would be pretty poor after the whole ordeal.

2.       I have 3 toilets in the house in which I am able to spread the fragrance around the three toilets and not cause my wife and daughter to faint when they visit the toilet (although I never used the third toilet as it is located at the lower floor and I don’t think I’ll ever make it there in time… so in actual fact… 2 toilets to rotate around).

3.       My daughter is sleeping in her own bed and that means there’s more space now between me and my wife in which my super smelly farts under the sheet would take a longer time to travel to the nearest victim and because my wife is able to sleep so much better now, there’s only a slim chance she’ll notice I farted.

4.       My toilet bowls are the sitting type. Imagine spraying a high power washer at a squatting toilet and the distance between your ass and the base of the bowl is nothing more than 5cm from the base… Got a bit of a cleaning to do there… after.

5.       I had an extra Glade’s fragrant in the drawer.

6.       I’m still 28 years old. If I’ve been 70+, the number of times I make it in time to the toilet would be significantly reduced.

7.       There are worst smells than overnight milk that I wash everyday.

8.       Through my excretions, my stomach is a grimmer version of a rainbow but a rainbow nonetheless (light green, grey, yellow, dark brown, black, dark green, light brown).

9.       I have clean water (as oppose to diarrhea water).

10.   There’s a company called Indah Water. I shall now pay my Indah Water bills on time.

WORK-LIFE BALANCE

The most spoke about topic but a hardly ever practiced phrase in our beautiful Asian culture. I guess we all know what work-life balance is. So today, let’s talk about what work-life balance is NOT.

1.       It is NOT spending a day or two a week coming back on time to be with the family. It is about working the balance everyday.

2.       It is NOT calling for a meeting at 5:30pm expecting everyone else to sacrifice their waiting families at home. Stop being selfish.

3.       It is NOT about being to only spend the weekend only off work.

4.       It is NOT about going back on time and then bringing out your laptop to work at 9pm. Leave it in the office. Applicable to those who have fixed working hours.

5.       It is NOT about making it back home just in time to see your kids fall asleep. It’s useless.

6.       It is NOT about not having friends to hang out with so work’s my best friend for now. Remember your own self and what you are doing with your body.

7.       It is NOT about working so darn hard only to have enough time to recuperate before you go crazy again. It’s meaningless.

8.       It is NOT about working so hard to achieve a life balance of toys, holidays and luxuries. We can all live with less.

9.       It is NOT boasting about how high you’ve climbed in the corporate ladder only to find how you have abandoned yourself, your family and kids in the process.

10.   It is NOT about being home on time only to bring back frustrations from work. You had better stay outside your home then.

The phrase that families and friends are the only ones that would stand by you forever has been said over and over and over again but yet, in today’s working world, I do not think we fully comprehend what it really means or we stupidly take for granted. Think about it, if families and friends operate the way our work operates (the more time you spend at work, the better promotion/pay rise you get) how many of us will actually still have families and friends standing by our side at the end of the day with so little time and focus we invest in them.

If we keep strictly to the working hours and our life hours, we have a fairly balance work-life. But how many of us actually keep to a timeframe as such. Mark your daily working hours and life hours and see. Just remember, don’t bullshit yourself that quality time at home is more important than the actual hours itself. If that’s the case, why can’t the same logic be applied to work. Spend quality time at work (like 4-5 hours) and spend more actual hours at home.

Day	Work Hours (9am – 6pm)	Life Hours (Working days: 7pm – 11pm, Weekend: 9am-11pm)
Monday	9	4
Tuesday	9	4
Wednesday	9	4
Thursday	9	4
Friday	9	4
Saturday	0	14
Sunday	0	14
Total	45	48

Being where I am today, I am even more convinced that no company would give a shit about you when they’re forced to make certain decisions. We’re told, “Leave emotions aside”. So no matter how well you’ve done, how much time you’ve invested in the company, how friend you are with your boss – when the time comes, it don’t mean shit.

So….

·         Why do we strive to spend so much time at work but ignore the people that cares for us the most?

·         Why do we continually justify our actions of staying back at work when the ones that cares for us could very well justify why in hell should they continue to care for you when you hardly spend anytime with them?

·         Why do we expect that our wives remain faithful when everyday we scandalously sleep with our work?

·         Why do we expect our children to listen to us when grandparents/maids cares for them more than we do? We merely provide the funding, grandparents/maids provide the love, care, time, attention, patience to listen and play with them.

·         Why do we expect our friends to help us whenever we are in need when we barely make the time to see them?

·         Why do we expect our bodies to be like superman when we constantly abandon it?

·         Why do we expect our families to be perfect (with the money we’ve made) when all we ever cared about was to make the money?

·         WHY?

GOING GREEN – WITH YOUR CAR – WITHOUT CAUSING YOU A BOMB

In this day and age, going green has become something really important that we all should strive too to preserve our mother earth.

But the one irony with going green these days is that it causes you to pay so much more in order to go green. For example, solar system – super expensive, getting a hybrid car-super expensive, battery in a hybrid car – super expensive… Shouldn’t it be that any initiative to go green should involve less cost?

So, in my effort to go green, I have discovered a way to go green (with your car) without even spending a single cent, without involving a single drop of sweat and by literally doing nothing.

The best way to go green with your car is…

TO NEVER WASH YOUR CAR!

And these are some of the reasons why by not washing your car, you become an elite master GREEN ambassador (it also puts to rest my Mum’s persistent request to wash the cars every week :P).

By not washing your car…

1.          You are able to save on paying a couple of thousand to tint your windows. The dust collected on your windows can act as a natural tint, blocking out the sun light and UV rays. On top of that, the dust is able to reduce the amount of heat that penetrates through the car and expunges heat when entered – you know, the same concept with wearing a white shirt-more cooling, black shirt-more hot. So the question that begs to be answered is… Why then do people tint their car as BLACK/DARK as possible when anything BLACK/DARK traps heat? Semua herd mentality kena tipu. Anyways, what’s more, you will never ever get fined by our beloved kopi drinking policemen.

2.          Next up, by not washing your car, you are able to further improve your braking system. Apart from the pre-installed drum brake, electromagnetic brake, disc brake and slip-disc brakes, the dust particles (both big and small) would be able to further enhance your braking system by causing friction with the air. Remember those days when a huge parachute would open up behind a speeding car to stop the car, dust can function exactly the same way. So more dust = more efficient braking.

3.          Apart from the external benefits of not washing your car, let’s not forget also the internal bit. For one, by not washing the inside of your car, you further contribute to the preservation of the eco-system. In today’s world where we continually encroach the living spaces of animals, we need to restore the balance by providing living spaces anywhere possible. For those that are not as educated, by not washing the inside of your car, cockroaches and other bugs began to populate in the car. This is a great responsibility that needs to be taken by each one of us to ensure that our children and grandchildren have a balance eco-system to live in. And in case you still doubt the effort of enabling animals/bugs/insects to co-habitat with you, please read the quotes below.

Our task must be to free ourselves... by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. (Albert Einstein)

The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. (Mohandas Gandhi)

If you have men who will exclude any of God's creatures from the shelter of compassion and pity, you will have men who will deal likewise with their fellow men. (St. Francis of Assisi)

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. (Anatole France)

4.          Another benefit that you would be able to reap by not washing the internal part of your car is that your car will never smell of dog/cat shit when you or any of your passenger accidentally steps on shit. Better than Febreeze, Ambi Pur, Glades is SAND. The sand that is collected from the months/years of not washing your car is able to popiah-wrap the shit that anyone steps into and immediately stops the smell from spreading. Tell me if Febreeze, Ambi Pur or Glades can change the smell of dog/cat shit when sprayed upon directly. Nothing works better than sand.

5.          Finally, if you ever wash your car, you are absolutely contributing to the pollution of mother earth. All the dust/dirt that you washed off your car gets flown down the drain to the ocean where our poor dolphins would be engulfed by them and die instantly. All the soap used to wash the car gets flown down the road to the lake by your house and kills all living things in the pond/lake. See Bukit Jalil lake, Subang Lake and Lake Garden… all filthy and poisonous from the soap from your car wash. Also let’s not forget the water that we so lavishly use to wash our cars and deny the same water to the children in Africa who are dying of drought. Remember, we all live in 1 world where we all share the water source. So by taking more here, there would be less there.

Now that you have all the benefits of not washing your car and GOING GREEN, spread the word around and be a true GREEN AMBASSADOR today by saying NO TO WASHING YOUR CAR!!!

PIGGIN OUT: SHABU ONE, LOT 10

Who wouldn’t know Shabu One? Me. Coming across the Groupon offer I had to think real hard and asking around so much before even purchasing it (as I once bought a steamboat buffet voucher from Groupon and the place sucked so bad that I’m super cautious now when purchasing any vouchers). So I did read a lot about this place and how awesome it was. So my wife, my daughter and I decided to visit the restaurant, armed with our RM20 per pax Groupon voucher during a weekday lunch.

We arrive slightly before 12 and they were still bringing out the cooked dishes. The variety of dishes offered were not too bad but what I really loved most was the amount of sauces they had. Easily, they had close to 20 types of sauces and cooking wine placed at the dining area. From the regular fried garlic oil, to fermented taufu sauce to their famous lemon sauce. Gives you this grandeur feeling of being a great chef by mixing the sauces together in the soup only to find out later that it made the soup taste bad.

Even though they had a reasonable selection of food, the one thing that sucked was their lala. Super not fresh that when you put in into your soup, it come out tasting super “seng” and that rotten seafood smell just permeates into your nostrils. Was praying so darn hard that I didn’t come down with diarrhea after that.

They of course had the usual selection of ice-cream but the best ice-cream anyone can offer is the “batang ice-cream” which used to be sold by some random kedai runcit during my schooling years. My daughter absolutely loved this as well.

Apart from that, I personally feel that this place is pretty so-so still. Would still prefer the Subang Steamboat @ Yen.

Location:

T18-22, 3nd floor
Lot 10 Shopping Mall
Jalan Bukit Bintang.

GPS: 3.146462, 101.711758