MY BIGGEST FEAR

So I am afraid of lizards, frogs and height. I cannot stand the thought of touching a lizard/frog and if I ever did accidentally touch one, an unbearable squirmish feeling would engulf my entire body and I would fall numb and crumble as if the bones in my body just suddenly disappeared. It doesn’t help that when you try to kill a lizard with Ridsect spray…. IT DOESN’T WORK!!! I’ve tried spraying half a can of Ridsect at a lizard trapped in a hole and the pesky disgusting thing just looked back as if I was spraying air cond at him… enjoying the gush of cool air that is emitted from the spray. Giving up, I sprayed serai at it and it was my turn to grin for it struggle so hard to get out of the hole as if it was burning in hell.

Frogs… I have no idea how to get rid of it and I’m just glad that when I reach Form 5, they decided to do away with slicing open a frog for biology studies. I would have probably skipped the entire class. Imagine me having touch a frog what more to slice it open. What if I accidentally cut it’s main artery and it’s blood spurts into my mouth? What if it peed on my hand? Imagine the innerts of the frog spilling all over the lab table!!! Uuuurrggghhhhh!!! SCREW YOU FROG!!!

Heights… that’s pretty okay even though I can truly understand what it means for a men to jump into a pool of ice naked. The immediate instantaneous shrinking of your balls. Exactly what happens everytime I look over. But for height, I am able to man up, suck up and push myself to the limit. So not much a problem. Just hope that I don’t push myself over only to find missing parts in the future.

Anyways, in recent times, I have just come to the realization that my biggest fear is HAIR LOSS!!! I had my first encounter with hair loss when my wife was pregnant with our first daughter. Didn’t think much about it when I saw strands of my hair on our bed, on my hand everytime I swap my hair when I was bathing but when I looked into the mirror and saw my hair thinning away and I could see parts of my scalp shinning, I was devastated. My hair has truly been my crown. Ever since I was a kid, I always had thick wavy dark hair and was proud at the fact that every month, I MUST visit my barber to chop away my overgrown hair. Once my mum brought me to some aunty saloon and despite the aunty’s warning that she’s never cut a male’s hair before, I became her first. Like a virgin on his first time, tears stream down my eyes when I saw my hair being pulverized by her. Snip after snip, my crown turn from a glorious magnificent symbol of wealth, power and handsomeness to an uneven, scruffy symbol of poverty, emptiness and somewhere along the line of Gollum. I remember being so mad with my mum for destroying my magnificent kingdom to some Cina aunty. I was doing fine with my Indian barber!

Now that my wife is pregnant with our second, my hair has begun thinning once again. I am beginning to wonder is my hair loss is a direct correlation with my wife getting pregnant. On top of that, I have also been visiting my barber a lot less frequent. I only get my hair cut now like once every 2 months. Not very good news.

I know that some people can bald gracefully looking better when they bald. But looking at myself, I know I am not going to be in that same category. If people bald and look like Bruce Willis, I’ll probably bald and become a natural character for Gollum in Lord of The Rings, no make-up needed.

I really cannot bear the thought of losing hair. Thankfully though I live in the 20^th century where remedies for hair loss are readily available and no I am not talking about some half-baked hair treatment centre like Yunn Nam or 101 Hair Care… I am talking about genuine professional skin specialist like Ranjit Skin Specialist in Subang Jaya. Saw him the last time and his medication worked (just that I stop after I saw improvement) and now had to visit him yet again to resume his medication. Medication that works on the top and doesn’t compromise the bottom. Thank God.

To help you understand my fear better, this is what I fear most if I bald. So I pray dear God that if I should bald, solutions come as fast as my hair falls. Amen.