When I first heard of Bersih’s intention to hold another rally on Good Friday, my balls shrunk.
Not that I am against it and not that I hate the individuals involved in it, in fact, I am all in support for Bersih. But I knew this time, after writing and criticizing in my la grande plan to wake up the minds of Malaysians to the corruption, power abuses and ala Mao Tze Tung ruling style in Malaysia, I knew this time around, I needed to take another step into the field to call for the respect of my most basic right, MY RIGHT TO VOTE IN A CLEAN AND FAIR ELECTIONS.
This step for me would be one of the hardest as it does not entail me sitting behind my computer and typing away. It entails me getting my ass out of my chair and rally along my countrymen and face the possibility of having to run for my life, being shot with tear gas, water trucks, being hit with a baton and of course arrest. It’s no more writing and telling people, “History has shown us that in the quest for freedom, there would be bloodshed, lost lives, arrests, resistance from the ruling regime etc…” Now the thought of me being in one of the scenarios above really send shivers down. No more talk, talk, talk. The reality of what I have wanted to do so long began setting in. I had to put my words into action and that is crazy tough.
My first excuse of trying to escape the rally this time around was that I was travelling to Taiwan on Monday with both our families and I could not get myself into any trouble as if I was to get arrested, the trip would be called off all our money spend on it would be washed down the drain. Furthermore, if I told my wife about it, I believe she’ll ask me not to go (due to the fact that we’ve spend quite a bit on the tickets and hotel already). But lo and behold, when I got home from work, I told my wife about the upcoming Bersih event and she immediately said, “Better go in a group.” I was like caught shocked because when she said that, I have not even told her that I was planning to go. Dang!
Of course, through the next couple of days, the excuses for not going began pouring in… “The pen is mightier than a sword”, “stay behind to help bail people out”, “write about the event from behind the scenes”, “mum would be worried”, “I got a family”… etc…
In the weeks that followed, I knew full well that any excuses I gave anybody would be a big hit to my credibility and the validity of my criticisms plus I wouldn’t want someone telling me, “No action, talk only (NATO)”, I forced myself to find ways to gather up my guts. So of course I did a “so hai” video of me preparing for the rally, got a couple of friends to come along, made plans to overnight at one place together and head to Dataran together. With all the together-gether, it didn’t seem that scary anymore.
But of course, the thought of having to run from whoever, being separated and getting arrested are all still super real and super scary to me even though people are telling me “The police wouldn’t be so stupid this time”. But I know deep down, whatever my fears are, for the betterment of my country, my family, I needed to stand up and be counted. People tell me, “Just express your dissatisfaction in the ballot box”, but to me, what’s the use of the ballot box when it’s so tainted. With the refusal of the EC to take proactive steps to clean up the electoral system, what’s the point of my 1 vote when 3.1 million other foreigners or dubious voters are voting? And this goes for both side of the political standpoint. Where’s the legitimacy in a win? Where’s the fairness in a loss? Where’s the impartial truth in my mainstream media is suppose to portray when all I see is praises for BN and scorns for Pakatan? What’s the use of postal votes when the dude is probably my neighbor? With all the shit that’s still left unclean, holding any election is just bogus.
But we all know too well, “Does the government ever listen if we don’t show them some people power?” 50 years the nation lay in slumber. 5 years back with the emergence of citizens out on the street demanding for justice, fairness and an end to corruption and the government suddenly stop having their morning tea and evening tea-time, and began making changes (of course they claimed it was all their proactiveness but we can all smell shit easily).
Don’t tell me I’ve got a family. Don’t tell me I might lose my job. Don’t tell me, I might get arrested. Don’t tell me I might get hurt. Don’t tell me be smart and just vote in the next election. Don’t tell me let someone else fight. Because on 28 April 2012, I am standing up as a citizen of Malaysia DEMANDING THAT THE GOVERNMENT NOT ONLY RESPECTS MY VOTING RIGHTS BUT ALSO PROVIDE A CLEAN AND FAIR ELCTIONS SO THAT MY VOTE IS COUNTED FOR WHAT IT IS and not diluted with 3.1 million other dubious voters.
Of course fear still lingers on, but I will go, knowing in my heart that I need to stand up and be counted if I desire fairness and justice to prevail. I urge each and everyone of you to stand with me as fearful as we all might be, to put aside the excuses that we all can conjure up and to put aside our selfish nature and STAND UP and be COUNTED. For our families, for our future, for our loved ones, FOR MALAYSIA!
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