Idiosyncrasy – the syncing of idiots all in one place (Rojaking, 2011)
No reward for guessing this right. Every blind man on earth would be able to point to you this Prime Minister (PM) that resides in Malaysia, in a place called Putrajaya.
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My beloved PM took office in 2009 after Badawi stepped down due the loss of confidence we Malaysians had with the ruling regime and to date, 3 years down the road, Najib has yet to have the balls to call for an election – of course this is also due the many idiotic crap he’s thrown at us for the past years.
Najib, in 2011 will always and continually be remembered for:
1. Atlantuya and the Submarine
Girls, Sex & Submarines
Whether it was Razak Baginda’s submarine or Najib’s submarine or their “submarine”, Atlantuya was involved in brokering the submarine deal whether on papers or in the bedroom with Razak’s “submarine” or Najib’s “submarine” and she ended bombed to pieces near my house in Shah Alam and the court sentenced two of Najib’s bodyguard guilty of murder without motive.
Well, the submarines arrived and it did not dive. That also I am not too sure if they meant the submarine or “submarine” and who’s didn’t “dive” and the people ended up paying billions for 2 overpriced submarines. The cost breakdown was probably as follow:
50% - Submarine cost
50% - Viagra cost
But at least where our court are too scared shit to talk about submarine and convicting the right people, we have our dear friends in France who have set up an investigation team to uncover the truth and then we’ll see, whose submarine was guilty.
2. BERSIH 2.0
If Tan Sri Zainuddin Maidin (Tan Sri sum more) was the most embarrassing individual for Malaysians (during Bersih 1 with his interview with Al-Jazeera), then Najib would have been the most embarrassing individual to every Malaysians during Bersih 2.0.
He continually stumbled and stumbled during the whole event as if the PM function with a lack of a brain.
Arrest were made BEFORE the event, Bersih organizers, PSM members and even t-shirts. PSM members were arrested under our famous Internal Security Act (ISA) for the usual inciting and seditious for allegedly preaching communism. Of course they were all released after much public pressure which really begs the question… was the arrest really warranted? Why arrest people under such serious outdated laws when you don’t have concrete evidence against them? Btw, Bersih t-shirts are still under arrest.
Arrest of course were made DURING the event, 1,600 people seeking clean and fair elections were arrested by lying FRU (who said they didn’t shoot into the hospital but admitted later they did) and our famous bribe taking Malaysian police officers (not all of them of course, there are of course good cops out there, but so far, every time I’ve been stopped, it’s “RM50 ada” and for the record, my stand is never to bribe and I have never bribed). SO IRONIC. It’s like criminals arresting innocent people. Imagine if Botak Chin being a police officer while he was a murderer at the same time. And of course there’s the dumbness in arresting 1,600 people when you know damn well you’re going to have to release them very very soon because:
i. You’ll be shitting in your pants for the next 2 and a half days non-stop taking statement from 1,600 people you arrested (20min per arrest with 10 cops on duty) and we all know making a report for accident also takes 1-2 hours.
ii. You would never be able to put to trial all 1,600 demonstrators. Out courts are already loaded the back log, the first court appear for the first defendant would probably be 50 years down from now.
iii. Keeping and 1,600 people is no joke with having to think about feeding them, ensuring proper sanitation, providing beds, sheets, pillow… heck.. imagine trying to get your hand on 1,600 beds… that’s just crazy so you definitely can’t keep them for long.
Other idiotic actions that was taken that should have been processed by a brain are:
i. Flip-flops in first promising any stadiums and then backing down last minute. That was a real low blow.
ii. Banning of t-shirts. That was just shallow.
iii. Making statements like “It’s bad for business” when if I am a business man around the vicinity, I’ll increase my stocks, my price just for that day and probably make enough money to last me for a month without working.
iv. Blame traffic jams on the protest when the police were the ones manning the road and seriously I bet that was super effective. What would you ask someone you stop? “Pegi mana?”-“KL”-“ TANGKAP”, Kereta kuning- “TANGKAP”, Seluar kuning-“TANGKAP”, Underwear kuning-“TANGKAP”, Kasut kuning-“TANGKAP”, Janggut panjang macam olang PAS-“TANGKAP”, Mata sepet macam Kit Siang-“TANGKAP”. If I was Najib with a brain, I would seriously do a simple math, # of cars guilty / # of cars stopped for the day… and btw… what were you going to do with the guilty cars?
v. Lying – we are in a modern society with enough readily available technology to record true events. So don’t ever try to lie and then come up with lame excuses like “I dari Ipoh, tak tau ada hospital sana, tembak saja” and then deny for the next 6 months and then give us that statement.
3. FBC
Najib is the best, Najib is cool, Najib is awesome, Najib is hot… Najib is a piece of shit cause he paid millions to FBC and other agency to increase his popularity… WITH OUR MONEY! And thank God he got caught for it.
4. 1 Malaysia
Cakap tarak serupa bikin. At one moment, he goes around shouting 1 Malaysia just like how Tunku Abdul Rahman did his Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! But an act that was supposedly a symbol of pride to all Malaysia – Merdeka, is now used to blindside the nation to the inconsistent slogan he now shouts about. What’s 1 Malaysia when you allow idiots like Ibrahim Ali to run around the street mocking and inciting hatred among other races? What’s 1 Malaysia when your own Deputy demands his race comes 1st? What’s 1 Malaysia when you yourself cling on so tightly to protecting your own Malay agenda? What’s 1 Malaysia when Christians are used by you and your ministers as scapegoat to incite unease? All wasted money.
5. Budget 2011
The tabling of the budget was a great time to put stride to improving the economy in the upcoming uncertain times. But my PM being the PM still missing his brains, he had to used that time to take pot shots at the opposition which was really, really, really unbearable stupid, childish and embarrassing. On top of that, instead of tabling something concrete, it was pretty much a hand-out budget. ONE TIME OFF $$$ to students, ONE TIME OFF $$$ to low-income earners etc. Any learned man on the street would know ONE TIME OFF payments are not going to help strengthen the economy at all. What do you expect the low income earners to do with ONE TIME OFF payment? Relieve for 1 month and then what? Back to square one! Money wasted. That money could have been put into much greater use by improving the economy, increasing job availability, putting effort into reducing inflation.
6. Sodomizing Saiful
Anwar? Sodomy? Again? Any smart PM would have thought of another method to bring down his nemesis… but not my PM…. He believe in the tried-tested-proven method. Just that he forgot, this time around, people are a lot smarter.
Already Saiful’s testimony is leaking everywhere except his anus – i.e –
i. Meeting Najib in Putrajaya – crap! who gets to do that? Maybe if I’m desperate enough I’ll go to him and tell him that Mr. Ibrahim sodomized me just to have a chat with him.
ii. Met police officer in a hotel room to have his statement taken – again crap! I wish when I made my police report on my accident, I’ll be asked to meet them in a hotel in KL instead of their run down balai in Puchong which doesn’t even have a proper clean toilet.
iii. Went to Pusrawi – Doc says… “Your butt is looking good. Still very kental”. Went again to Hospital KL, “Oh... sangat loose. Ada nama Anwar dalam”. Instead of convicting the person who sodomized Saiful in between Pusrawi and HKL (which was probably the police officers he met in the HOTEL ROOM, they charge Anwar.
iv. A young strong man could not fight off a old fragile man with back pain. Think about it (especially to the men out there), if you’re about to get sodomized against your will, won’t you fight as hard as you can to wrest off the assailant? Anwar must have super powers.
So there you have it, apart from Muammar Gaddafi who is now dead, my beloved PM, Najib must have been voted as the MOST IDIOTIC PM in 2011.
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