I’m BACK! After disappearing for close to 3 weeks due to super hectic work schedule I’m back. And what better time to start writing again as we’re all still all soaked with the Chinese New Year spirit.
As we are celebrating CNY with overloading ourselves with scrumptious food and being immerse in the whole mood of festivities, I couldn’t help but to wonder about the interesting practices that we the Chinese people do especially during this time of festivities. I for one already believe that we the Chinese people have a tendency to self destruct ourselves by placing upon ourselves super high expectations (Case in Point: Wedding – we spend so much on a one day event; i.e. the hantaran, the restaurant, the clothes, the photos, the drinks etc; as compared to the people of the other races, Indians, Malay, Ang Mohs – we literally kill ourselves expecting that the normal Chinese wedding should consist all of the above making it super hard to even get married as a Chinese).
Anyways, back to CNY, here are some strange practices that got me thinking:
1. Prawns
Prawns are sort of a must have dish during CNY. The believe is that it’s suppose to add happiness during the CNYmeals due to what’s it is called in Chinese – “Ha”. So the “Ha” is suppose to create more “Hahaha’s” as in laughing and thus happiness. With increase demand and reduced supply during CNY, the prices of pranws skyrockets and the only person I think is really HAHAHA-ing over the “Ha” is the seller themselves while we the Chinese suckers keep telling ourselves, this is gonna make my reunion a happier one.
2. The Kitchen God and Alzheimer’s
Nin-Ko is another favorite item during CNY. It is believed that the Kitchen God during CNY return to the kingdom above and report to Mr. Almighty the bad deeds that you have done. So to stop the Kitchen God from reporting anything bad, the sticky Nin-Ko is served to him before CNY so his mouth would get all stuck up and he’s not able to report anything.
There’s 2 strange things about this scenario. 1. The Chinese people do this every year for the longest time and every year the Kitchen God falls into the same trap and eats the Nin-Ko and then fails to report anything to Mr. Almighty. I can only conclude that the Kitchen God suffers from Alzheimer’s and would require to seek medical attention. 2. It would be a really interesting sight to behold when millions of Kitchen Gods from the various households stand in front of Mr. Almighty with their mouths stuck with Nin-Ko. What would Mr. Almighty say then?
3. Pubic Hair Anyone?
Another must have dish during CNY is “Fatt Choy” that looks like a compilation of pubic hair from a thousand people served with taufu or other vegetable. And the Chinese go crazy over this pubic hair because of it’s name – “Fatt” – which means Prosperity. So if one day, I start selling my mucus and call it “Fatt Chui” – Prosperous water – it’ll be the next hot selling item during CNY.
4. Feng Shui
How can we ever forget about Feng Shui. Every Chinese would want to ensure the best feng shui during CNY. Everything red, furnitures must be arranged accordingly, going back to work on the right date, the right colored clothes during CNY etc. So one of my gung-ho colleague checked out my work place feng shui and apparently the direction where I am facing is really bad feng shui and the right direction should be the other way. Big problem there. Don’t think my boss would be very happy with me if I change the direction where I am facing.
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I mention earlier that we the Chinese people have this tendency to self-destruct and I’ll just end this post with Mandarin Oranges. Mandarin Oranges is a must have during CNY and we eat like loads of them during this time. But the problem with Mandarin Oranges is this – it causes CONSTIPATION. So... we binge and binge during CNY and instead of eating food that helps us poop the next day we binge again on Mandarin Oranges that constipates us. In the end, we end up being bloated, unable to poop and might as well put on a countdown timer on ourselves to see when we would explode.
I know after this, I’m going to get bashed for being very Un-Chinese so before I end, the disclaimer:
The thoughts expressed above are strictly of personal view and in no way meant to offend any practitioner and believer. In the event the above post offended anyone in any way, kindly refrain from reading and if you have, the owner of the blog is not liable for your lack of self-control. Peace.
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